She limped over to their packs and picked up his tunic.
“Put dry clothes on,” he snapped.
She dressed. Thunder rolled out in the plains, making the metal hum beneath Amber’s feet.
“Is there a basement?” she asked. “Something below this? Something…safe?”
“How is it safer to be buried under a fallen building than to simply be crushed by it?”
“Please, Meoraq!”
“There is no place safer than within the sight of Sheul, woman. It doesn’t matter how deep you burrow—”
“Can’t I hide my atheistic ass just once without a sermon?”
Meoraq hissed at her and stomped away, shoving at what little blockish furniture had survived the ages and slapping at the walls until he found a panel that opened into the next room. “Stay here,” he snarled when she started to limp after him, so she leaned carefully against the wall, rubbing at her aching hip, and waited for him.
The storm raged. She’d heard the cliché used before, had even believed she’d heard storms raging in the past, but never knew it could be like this. The walls had to be at least half a meter thick, all metal and concrete—or whatever they used for concrete on this planet—and the wind still shook it. She was alone with that, alone with the muted thunder and howl of a tornado that might be even now passing directly overhead, alone without even Meoraq’s high-handed religious fervor to comfort her. The lights blurred; she looked up fearfully, thinking they were going out and she’d be trapped in the dark, then realized she was crying. And once she realized that, it was as though something broke inside her and suddenly she was sobbing so hard, she could barely breathe.
Something huge hit the wall with a deafening bang. Amber screamed helplessly and sank down the wall, sobbing because she’d banged her hip at some point in her wild spin across the floor and now it hurt to stand and it hurt to kneel and it hurt worst of all to sit. She couldn’t remember the last time nothing had hurt; she didn’t think she was ever going to feel that way again. This was it. She was never going to feel better and she was going to die huddled in a corner and crying.
She didn’t know Meoraq had come back until his hands slipped under her arms and pulled her back up onto her feet. He didn’t let go of her right away.
She kept her hands over her face, trying to shut her stupid self up and be the person she’d been all her stupid life without any effort at all, but the tears kept coming. He didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to see him trying to think of something to say to this ridiculous, fretful, useless alien he’d been saddled with. She wanted to die.
Thunder savaged the walls. Amber wailed and then Meoraq’s arms were closed fast around her, locking her against his broad, scaly chest. She wished she were the old Amber, the Amber who would have smacked him away and been tough and just fine, the Amber who wouldn’t have been crying at all. Instead, she clung to him, weeping blindly, and grateful for every cautious touch as he kneaded her back.
“Come,” he said after a moment. “The storm will pass. We will wait below.”
She nodded, still weeping hard, painfully aware of tears and snot and even drool streaming down her damn face. Humans were disgusting.
He took her with him, his arm close around her, through a series of doors to a wide stairwell. He led her down several flights, leaving the sound of the storm behind them until all was silent except for her sniveling.
“I’m sorry,” she said at last. Her voice, weak as it was, echoed.
Meoraq stopped to muscle a door open. He must have done it before, because the lights were on in the hall beyond and he’d known to throw his weight at it from the start, but it still took a great deal of effort and his only answer was a grunt.
She knew she should keep quiet, but no sooner had Meoraq finally managed to shove the door-panels apart than it came bleating out of her again: “Please don’t be mad at me.”
He’d started to walk on through the doors, but just as suddenly stopped (she bumped hard into his back and had to stagger to catch herself). He stood there for a second or two, not moving, then swung around and hissed, “I am not S’kot, damn it! I won’t leave you!”
The words and the vehemence with which they were spoken might have each been sufficient on their own to take her aback. Together, they entirely overwhelmed her.
He resumed his prowling, pissed-off stride, leaving her there in the stairway to stay or to follow as she wanted.
She followed, but slowly, not daring yet to speak. The hallway they entered was wide but not tall, with a rounded ceiling and featureless metal walls that made it seem a lot like walking through a pipe. Here and there, other corridors intersected, but there were few doors and Meoraq did not stop to test any of them.
“They left you,” he was saying. “They left you and I have tried and tried for your sake to be sorry, but I’m not. You say I don’t want to find them and you say truth. I would go so far as to say I dread finding them, but I will take them back if I do. For God, yes, and for you, because you think you need them and you think it would make you happy if they liked you, but they never will!”
She flinched, surprised by how much it hurt to hear that out loud, even though it was hardly something she hadn’t thought herself. “I don’t care if they like me,” she mumbled. It used to be true.
“If they were right here in this room—” His fist lashed out and thumped a panel on the wall as he stormed by. The door beside it wheezed halfway open, showing her an empty room, small and stark as a prison cell, before groaning shut again. “—you would take them back. Not just your N’ki, but all of them! And you would be glad you found them, glad to take them in and let them piss on you all over again!”
“What do you want me to say?” she asked dully.
He stopped and swung on her again. The stripes were out on his throat and brilliantly yellow. “I want you to tell me why you want them back! I want you to tell me why I—” He smacked himself on the chest hard enough to make her jump. “—am not enough for you! I want you to tell me why you can’t just let S’kot go and be glad he’s gone!”
“Because everyone else is dead.”
He stared at her, breathing hard as the color on his neck faded. When it was almost gone, he looked away, then turned around and started walking again. She followed. Their footsteps echoed, making it seem like more than just the two of them, like Scott and all the others were walking invisibly right behind them.
“Say it,” Meoraq said abruptly, disgustedly.
“Say what?”
“What you always say when I act like this.”
She frowned, bewildered, and suddenly got it. “Scaly son of a bitch.”
“That’s it. I’m sorry,” he said, in the impatient manner of a man unused to making apologies. “I should not be so harsh with you. This place—and all places like it—just put poison in my mouth.”
“It’s all right.” Amber followed him around a corner, only to stop in her tracks almost immediately.
There was a corpse in the hallway.
Meoraq kept walking, talking back at her just as if he weren’t also stepping over the blackened, mummified arm of a lizardman as he went. “No, it isn’t. I don’t want to be here, but I know you only want to come in from the storm and look for your people, and you should not be ashamed to want either.”
“There’s a dead body here,” said Amber.
Meoraq looked at it, then at her. “Yes,” he said. He did not say, ‘And your point is…?’ but she heard it just the same.
“Is this place safe?”
Meoraq looked at the corpse again, a little longer this time, and at her, a little harder. “What exactly do you expect dead men to do to you?”
She had no ready answer for that, so she asked instead, “Do you know what this building used to be?”