My stomach coiled. My balls tightened. I grew agonizingly hard.

I love you.

My hand unlatched from around her throat, dropping down her front to palm her breast.

She cried out as I squeezed, her tongue twisting with mine.

A hiss of something black coated my thoughts. A memory I had no intention of remembering. The doors between me and my past opened wide, and my walls smashed into rubble.

I should pull away.

I should stop before I no longer knew what was real and what was not.

I should toss her out of this mansion before my lust switched to violence, and she suffered.

But her hands wrapped around my nape, pulling me into her, shattering my willpower. She sucked in a breath as I deepened the kiss, sinking into her taste. Her tiny gasp ignited the fire between us, placing us in a vortex of crackling lust.

“He loves you so much,” I groaned, pinching her nipple, fondling her. “And I took you away from him.”

“Who? Josh?” Her back arched, gifting up more of her flesh. “He’s my brother. He’s biologically programmed to love me.”

“He’d murder me if he knew what I’ve done to you.” I captured her mouth in a fierce, viscous kiss.

She moaned as I dropped my hand down her front, cupping between her legs. Her hazel eyes darkened to golden brown. “When you meet him, I’ll promise to protect you from his wrath.”

I kissed her again.

I kissed her with tongue and teeth and pain. So much fucking pain because she still thought this was our beginning when I knew different.

This was our end.

This was all we could ever have.

I’d been selfish long enough, and it was time to fix everything I’d done wrong.

I would let her go.

She’d go back to her loved ones.

And then, I would let the winter come.

I wouldn’t bother planting vegetables. I wouldn’t hunt. I wouldn’t gather.

I would just wait.

And I would be grateful as the snow finally ended my misery.

Ripping my mouth from hers, I latched my teeth onto her neck. Deep and unapologetic, completely uncontrolled as primal instincts overrode the shreds of my humanity.

I wanted her to run, but I also wanted her to spread her legs.

I wanted her to say yes and no.

I wanted so many contradictory things. The two sides of me tugged in opposite ends of a war I couldn’t keep fighting. The protector and the damned, the lover and the nightmare.

Her hands landed in my hair, dragging my head back up as her mouth sought mine.

She willingly kissed me.

She inched me closer to the edge.

Our teeth clacked and tongues slashed, reaching dangerous levels.

I felt it.

The blackness teasing my mind. Memories gathering with tar and oil.

“Gem...” I choked on a growl. “I don’t...I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

She inhaled, harsh and quick. “You’re not hurting me, Kas.” She nipped at my bottom lip. “Kiss me. Stop fighting what you feel and give in.”

Christ, that was what I was trying so hard not to do.

If I gave in, who knew if she’d be breathing after. Who knew if I’d—

“Kiss me,” she moaned, her leg latching around my hip, rocking her pussy against my achingly hard cock. Fissures of desire shot through me. Lust exploded in my blood.

“I need you to finish what you started in the garden.” Her body writhed against mine in need. “Please, Kas.”

Her plea.

Her need.

It broke me.

My head roared with darkness. My mind gave into sickness.

Shoving up her nightgown, I gathered the soft material at her waist with jerky grabs. I snarled with need as I found creamy thighs, strong muscle, and hot wetness between her legs.

“Oh, God.” She jerked as I sank two fingers deep inside her. For a second, she hovered in propriety and decorum. She stood on her tiptoes, balanced on my hand with two of my fingers impaled inside her.

We made eye contact.

Electricity swarmed round us, making my skin prickle and heart race.

I stroked her.

I thrust my hand deeper.

And something switched inside her. Something got loose. Something manic and wild.

“Kas.” Her hands clawed at my naked chest, her nails scratching me as she dropped them to my jeans and tore at the zipper. “Now.” She undid the button and pushed them over my ass. “I need you now.”

I quaked as her need infected me.

It rippled through my memories, plaiting present with past, sinking me deeper into things I couldn’t face.

My jeans fell to my ankles.

Gemma pulled me forward, and the second our skin touched skin, we lost ourselves.

I fell on her like a savage. Kissing, touching, fingering.

We moaned and pawed.

She grabbed my length and squeezed, stroking me fast and hard.

We weren’t human. We were claws and cruelty, imprinting and scarring each other before the moment could be stolen.

She choked on a cry as I inserted a third finger, her hips riding my hand with total abandon. I stopped kissing her to watch. To witness how her eyelashes feathered on her cheeks as she squeezed her eyes closed with need. How her mouth popped wide with a silent scream. How her hair rubbed against the wall as I thrust my cock into her palm.

A slither of blackness hissed in my mind, hinting at a memory I wouldn’t like.

Shaking my head, I forced myself to stay with her.

“Kas...I need you.” Her eyes blazed open, pupils dilated with hunger. She looked absolutely perfect. So stunning. So unbelievably beautiful and wild and mine.

She wanted me.

Truly wanted me.

She was addicted to the same kind of madness I was. A disease that had no medicine or remedy, leaving us both doomed forever.

“I need you to fuck me, Kas. Show me you feel this too.”

I shut my eyes as my mind swarmed with sick shadow. Her command mirrored the mistresses of my past. Her instruction to pleasure her. Her authority shackling my body to her direction.

I shuddered.

“Hey...it’s me, Kas.” Her hand landed on my cheek, forcing my eyes wide. I focused on her. Only her. I did my best to forget about the abusers of my childhood.

“Just me.” Her whisper arrowed through my heart. “Just us.”

I drowned in her stare, suffocating on the emotions she let me see.

She didn’t just want my body.

She wanted me.

Every part.

All of it.

And fuck, I wanted to give it to her.

I wanted to be honest.

To be free.

To be happy.

I opened my mouth to tell her I loved her. That despite all my martyrdom and desire to be good, I would never let her out of my arms. She was mine...for fucking eternity.

I bowed closer.

I grew drunk on her lips as I let the final barriers inside me crash down.

And that was it.

My mind abducted me, wrenching me back into a black void.

“Kas, stop!”

Her scream fed the mania inside me as I rutted harder, faster and faster, fucking her like an animal on the library floor.

Her face twisted with tears. Her legs spread wide as my ass pumped between them.

I viewed it as an outsider.

I saw precisely what I’d become.

My hips pumped harder, aggressive and mean, crazed with violence and nightmares.

She gasped and cried, tears glittering on her cheeks as I plunged deep, taking her against her will. She was nothing beneath me. Nothing but a vessel for me to purge all my dementedness into.

“Please!” she screamed, tears catching in her throat, disbelief etching her panic-stricken face. “Please, stop, please—”

She locked eyes on the ceiling as I ignored her.

My hips worked harder.

I took her so hard, she inched along the carpet, her skin rubbing raw.

I fucked her.

Wilder.