Lucien stepped closer in his tattered trousers. “I’m not asking you to suddenly become an expert in ruling winter, Rook. I’m just asking you to try.”
That did it.
A sharp, panicked laugh burst out of me. “Try? How? I appreciate that you’ve probably been suspecting a lot of what you just said for a while. You’ve had time to go over it. To come to terms with everything, but me?” Ice cut through my panic, flashing over my skin. “I didn’t even know I was in a cage. I had no idea I was even like this!”
I sniffed as tears escaped, solidifying halfway down my cheeks. “Sure, I’ve felt a little strange ever since you zapped that awful pacemaker. Sure, I’ve felt surges of cold and couldn’t brush off the fact that whenever you grew too hot, I grew icy to match but...”
“But?” he asked gently.
“But...nothing.” I sighed and flung my hands skyward. “It’s not that I don’t want to. Believe me, I would give anything to stop your stupid fire destroying this valley. I want to save as many lives as possible, but I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t! And by saying I can you’re putting far too much pressure on me.” The cold spilled outward, jagged and uncontrolled. Ice exploded in a perfect web beneath my feet, snuffing out baby fires and flash-freezing the river’s edge.
Lucien wisely didn’t point out that I’d somehow done what he asked.
Slowly, his lips tipped into a sly smile. “I might be putting pressure on you but look...you’re not giving in to your annoying little habit of passing out anymore.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Oh, I think I’m helping quite a lot, actually.” He crossed his arms. “I also think I’ll keep pushing you until you snap.”
“Don’t you dare.”
“Put out the fire.”
“Stop it.”
“Do it.” His face darkened. “Prove to yourself that this is real. That you’re finally free and somehow control winter.”
“I...but...it’s not possible.” I almost fell as everything hit me.
Everything.
It wasn’t even thoughts or questions that crushed me...it was feelings.
Feelings I’d never really allowed myself to feel because it always ended in a migraine or misery. Feelings full of power. Grief and loss, fear and panic.
What were we?
What would become of us?
My throat closed up.
My vision swam—
Lucien stormed into me.
His hands were on me instantly, solid and grounding, thumbs brushing my cheeks as he pressed his lips to my forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I didn’t know how much you were drowning.”
I moaned as the temptation to surrender to him made the bond flare.
I felt him inside me—rummaging in my heart, sensing me, reading me, knowing my darkest fears and deepest losses.
“You’re okay,” he whispered against my skin, his lips hot and searing. “I feel how much this is hurting you so...forget it. I’ll figure something else out. Let’s go—”
“We can’t go. Not when so many creatures are dying.”
“Then...do you want to try?” he asked gently.
My fingers curled into fists.
My sanity cracked.
Try what? Harnessing an entire season? Wrangling an element?
It was absurd. Ridiculous. Make-believe.
“God, I can’t do this,” I moaned. “I can’t fix what you’ve burned. I can’t suddenly hate everyone I’ve ever trusted. I can’t just pretend they’re now my enemy!”
“I’m not asking you to.”
My mind hyper-focused on every moment with Frank and Dillon. How both men had been my rock after my parents died. How Frank regularly sent me stupid GIFs to make me laugh and Dillon treated me like his favourite annoying sister.
If Lucien was right and they treated me like that to keep me compliant...how stupid did that make me? How ridiculously naïve—how hungry for love was I that they manipulated me so successfully?
Cupping my cheeks, he angled my face to look up at him. “You’re okay. You’re not alone anymore, alright? You’ve got me now. And I will never let anyone hurt you again.”
And suddenly, nothing was okay.
Swaying in his hold, I grabbed his burning wrists. “If anyone finds out about this...” I tripped over my words. “I-If anyone finds out we can h-heal each other. That you can set an entire valley on fire just by climaxing. If they find out I’m part snow...Cinderkeep will seem like a vacation.”
“They won’t find out. We won’t let them.”
“But what if Marcus already knows? What if my company is pulling the strings? What if—”
“Rook.” He pulled me close. “Calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm the hell down! These are important questions!”
“And I’m not saying we won’t answer them. But...if you insist on getting worked up...then use that energy to put out the fire.”
“HOW?!” I roared, my panic utterly consuming me. “Tell me how to do it and I’ll do it. Tell me how you summon your heat. Tell me how you stop it.”
“I have no idea.”
“Great. Wonderful.” I laughed. “Thank you. That’s incredibly helpful.”
“How did I never realise you’re snappy when you’re angry?”
“Because you’ve only known me for seven weeks!”
“Didn’t stop me from falling head over heels for you though, did it?”
That stopped me.
That helped me.
I wrapped my arms around myself, doing my best to get a grip.
“Look.” He smiled softly, letting me go. “Ice comes from water, right?” He pointed at the flowing river. “We have water. Use it if you want the fire to stop.”
“No problem.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll just wave my hand around, say a little limerick, and bibbidi bobbidi boo, all done.”
“You’re right. The hand waving probably isn’t necessary.” Crowding me, he pressed a burning palm over my heart, taking liberties with my breast at the same time. “Use your heart. It seems when your emotions spike, things around you freeze. So...harness them and put out. The. Damn. Fire.”
“I can’t just command a feeling—”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t!”
“Yes. You can.” He bent over me, his eyes narrowing. “You’ve been doing it your entire life. Why else do you think that damn necklace kept knocking you out? You kept reaching a level where you were about to touch the power inside you and it couldn’t let you do that. Just like the vitalsync core prevented me from touching mine.”
“You don’t know that.”
“It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. We’ve been locked by a damn pendant and a pacemaker our entire lives, Rook, and the second your necklace was lost, you were free.”
“Even if you’re right...” A ringing began in my ears. “I can’t just use anger to conjure a snowstorm.”
“Use panic then.” He shrugged annoyingly. “You’re doing a pretty good job at that.”
“I really don’t like you right now.”
“Fine. Use hate. I’m not picky.”
My pulse fractured.
The world tilted.
A blast of icy coldness erupted from the centre of my chest, almost as if it agreed with him. Hate would do. Stress would work just fine.
I staggered backward, clutching my heart, feeling as if I was breaking apart.
“I don’t...” I wasn’t ready. I would never be ready. I still didn’t believe in any of this. “Lucien...help.”
“I’m right here.” He reached for me and—
Snow surged like a tidal wave.
Panic mutated into raw terror as my vision flickered white. Something wild and archaic stole all my control and—
Snowflake Corp filled my mind.
How the air temperature had always dropped when I cried.
How my windows iced from the inside, even on summer days.
How the drinking fountain at school exploded—the pipes bursting as the water froze while I took a drink.
How I was homeschooled from then on...
How my mother sat me down and told me I was too smart for school, too bright for my age, and the only way I could continue with my studies was there in the lab, with her...at all times.
