But he didn’t try to stop me.

He let me torture him, getting bolder and firmer as I learned what he liked.

I snuggled against him and pressed the softest kiss to his Adam’s apple.

He snarled at the stars as his arms banded around me, suffocating me against him, barely giving my hand enough space to stroke.

“Fuck, that feels...that feels—” A ripple worked from the base of him as he pinned me onto my back and kissed me.

I lost track of what my hand was doing as we became nothing more than tangled tongues and lust.

His hips thrust into my hand, giving everything to me and...I couldn’t take it anymore.

“I-I need you,” I moaned. “Now.”

Pulling away from me, he no longer looked human but demonic. Smoke licked from his shoulders, trapping us in our own version of hell.

“But I’ll hurt you...” He massacred the words, his teeth still clenched together as if it took every drop of willpower to hold himself back.

“I don’t care.”

And I didn’t.

I suddenly didn’t care if being with him hurt worse than everything else combined.

“I need you,” I repeated. “I need you, Lucien. I need you so, so badly.”

He kicked his trousers off.

His scalding nakedness utterly consumed me as he settled between my legs. With a snarl, he grabbed a handful of my thigh, yanking my leg to hook over his hip, opening me even wider. “Then you’ll fucking have me.”

I reached between us and fisted him.

His entire body jerked; his nostrils flaring as he struggled to breathe. Planting his elbows on either side of my head, our eyes locked as I guided the head of his cock to my entrance.

Neither of us rushed.

Neither of us looked away.

My heart pounded, pounded as the hot steel of him nudged the warm silkiness of me.

A guttural groan tore from his throat as he fell on me in a ravenous, ruining kiss. All I could focus on was his heat and weight, holding himself on that knife-edge of taking me.

I squeezed his erection—

A shudder worked down his back as he slapped my hand away.

Fisting himself, he pulled away just enough to look down at me. His eyes burned, no longer just ringed with scarlet but glowing bright red. “The moment I met you...” He notched himself inside me, spreading me far more than his finger did. “I feared you’d be the one to finally kill me.” He sank in the barest inch. “And here you are...” He hovered his mouth over mine. “...killing me.”

Pushing inside me until he reached that barrier, he quaked as he let his cock go and fisted both hands in my hair. He stayed perfectly still, pressing the softest kisses to my lips as if he was worshipping me instead of about to fuck me in the dirt.

“This is going to hurt...” he whispered. “And it kills me that I’ll be the one hurting you.”

I couldn’t catch a proper breath, needing him to do it, hurt me, take me.

“I’m past the point of caring.” I dug my fingernails into his ass, trying to pull him down. “Do it. Please.”

His muscles flexed as he fought me, his elbows digging deeper into the ground. “I’m trying to decide if I do it fast or slow.” He nuzzled my nose with his. “Tell me, Rook. How should I fuck you for our first time?”

I had no logical explanation for how wild he made me, only that I needed him to breathe, to function, to exist.

“I don’t care,” I snapped, wild with hunger. “Just do it.” My hips arched up, seeking, begging. “Please, Lucien. Do it. Take me. Please just—”

“Fuck.” He surged inside me with one tearing impale. Thick and hard, deep and thrusting. He didn’t protect me or treat me gently—almost as if he wanted to get it over with as fast as possible.

It was both the best and worst thing I’d ever felt.

Something tore.

Something ripped.

I screamed as my body split and yielded, becoming his with the brightest flare of agony.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He didn’t move, holding himself deep, deep inside me—stretching me unbearably, condemning me to feel every sting of his claiming.

And the pain didn’t stop.

I wanted it to stop.

I wanted pleasure to replace agony, but it didn’t.

After a lifetime of suffering, I couldn’t help shifting beneath him, wanting him to give me some space...just for a moment.

Tears came to my eyes for ruining this.

For taking something so special and making him feel like a beast.

As if he sensed my discomfort, he captured my mouth in the sweetest kiss and...withdrew.

“No,” I mumbled against his lips. “Don’t go. I don’t want you to stop.”

“Hush.” Tilting his head, he brought his hand to his mouth. Never looking away from me, he sank his teeth into his healed flesh. His eyebrows knitted together as he broke the skin and didn’t say a word as he pulled his finger free—revealing golden-tinted blood on the tip.

“What are you...?” I trailed off as his shoulder dipped and his hand disappeared between my trembling legs.

I gasped as he pressed his bleeding finger inside me.

I clutched his shoulders as he found that stinging tear deep within.

And I froze as the pain suddenly vanished in a sizzling wash of heat.

His forehead furrowed as he touched every part of me, curling his finger, seeking out every piece that he’d broken.

He healed me...and good God, I couldn’t stand it.

I couldn’t survive the level of intimacy and care. How he put my needs over his, even though he quaked with hunger so intense, the tips of his hair kept catching fire.

“Better?” He pressed a second finger inside me, loosening a curse as he found both penetrated deeply with no barrier to stop them.

I was beyond speech.

Past words.

Grabbing his wrist, I yanked his touch away and dug my claws into his hip.

He smirked as I jerked him back where he belonged.

He snarled as I wrapped my fingers around his cock and placed him exactly where I wanted him.

And then he roared as he claimed me in a single thrust.

And.

It.

Was.

Glorious.

Chapter Forty-Three

I TRIED TO BE GENTLE.

I tried to be soft, so I didn’t scare her with the depth of how much I wanted her but...it didn’t work.

I sank inside her, filled her, took her, fucked her.

Where the hell had she been all my life?

Why had I been destined to spend so many years in misery without her?

Never again.

Never again would I be alone.

Never again would she leave me.

“Everything about you crucifies me,” I hissed into her ear as I lost myself to something I never thought I’d do. I rutted into her like an animal, lost entirely to lust.

“I’m harder than I’ve ever been in my entire life and being inside you...” I bit her ear, loving the way she gasped and twitched and encouraged me to go harder, go deeper, take more and more and more. “I’m either going to have a heart attack or decimate this entire valley.”

She groaned, another flicker of frost decorating her eyelashes. “Less talking. More fucking.”

“You’re driving me insane, you know that, right?”

Fuck, she was gorgeous.

I couldn’t stop touching her, kissing her, aching from the sharpest gratitude that she was the only one who’d never wanted something from me.

Back in Cinderkeep, she didn’t want my blood, my company, or my child.

But out here?

She wanted everything.

She was demanding and greedy and I loved every moment of it.

A rush of fury heated my blood, smoke bled from my skin, and unlike all the other times when the flames overwhelmed me, pain didn’t come. Just relief and power and I kissed her so damn hard because she was the reason for everything.

She clawed at my back. “More. I need more.”