'Yes, I was,' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I only took the regular course.'

'What was that?' inquired Alice.

'Reeling and Writhing^[10]. Different branches of Arithmetic,' the Mock Turtle replied; 'Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision^[11].'

'I never heard of “Uglification,”' Alice said. 'What is it?'

The Gryphon was surprised.

'What! Never heard of that!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'

'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means “to make something prettier.”'

'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify^[12] is, you are just foolish.'

Alice turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else did you learn?'

'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, 'Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography^[13]: then Drawling, Stretching^[14], and Fainting in Coils^[15].'

'What was that like?' said Alice.

'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too old for that. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'

'I had no time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics master, though. He was an old crab^[16], he was.'

'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh, 'he taught Laughing and Grief.'

'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon; and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice.

'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so on.'

'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked, 'because they lessen from day to day.'

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she made her next remark.

'Then the eleventh day was a holiday?'

'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.

'And what about the twelfth day?' Alice asked eagerly.

'Enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: 'tell her something about the games now.'

Chapter X

The Lobster Quadrille

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and looked at Alice, and tried to speak. Gryphon began to shake it and punch it in the back. At last the Mock Turtle, with tears that were running down his cheeks, went on again:

'You did not live much under the sea…'

('I did not,' said Alice)

'and perhaps you did not see a lobster…'

(Alice began to say 'I once tasted…' but hastily said 'No, never')

'so you probably do not know what a nice dance a Lobster Quadrille is!'

'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'

'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the sea-shore…'

'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then you advance twice…'

'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.

'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners…'

'…change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.

'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw the…'

'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon.

'…as far to sea as you can-'

'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle.

'Change lobsters again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said the Mock Turtle, suddenly became silent; and the two friends sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.

'Do you want to see it?' said the Mock Turtle.

'Very much indeed,' said Alice.

'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon. 'We can do without lobsters, you know. Who will sing?'

'Oh, you will sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I forgot the words.'

So they began to dance round and round Alice, while the Mock Turtle sang a song about a whiting and a snail very slowly and sadly.

'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said Alice.

'Oh, you saw the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'of course?'

'Yes,' said Alice, 'at dinn…' she stopped hastily.

'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but if you see them so often, of course you know what they're like.'

'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the Gryphon. 'Do you know why it's called a whiting?'

'No,' said Alice. 'Why?'

'It does the boots and shoes,' the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

Alice was puzzled.

'Does the boots and shoes?' she repeated.

'Yes. Why are your shoes so shiny?' asked the Gryphon.

Alice looked down at her shoes.

'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep voice, 'are white. Now you know.'

'So,' the Mock Turtle said, 'Let's hear about your adventures.'

Alice began to tell them her adventures from the time when she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it at first, the two creatures came close to her, one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouths very wide.

The Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said 'That's very curious.'

'Maybe another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the Gryphon offered. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?'

'Oh, a song, please!' Alice replied eagerly.

'Hm! Sing her “Turtle Soup,” will you, old fellow?' said the Gryphon.

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, with sobs, to sing this:

'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,

Waiting in a hot tureen!

Who for such dainties would not stoop?

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Soo-oop of the e-e-evening,

Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Beau-ootiful Soo-oop!

Soo-oop of the e-e-evening,

Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle began to repeat it, when they heard a cry: 'The trial's beginning!'

'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and he took Alice by the hand, and hurried off.

'What trial is it?' Alice asked; but the Gryphon only answered 'Come on!' and ran faster and faster.

Chapter XI

Who Stole the Tarts?

The King and Queen of Hearts were sitting on their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd assembled around them-many different birds and beasts, and the whole pack of cards. The Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him. Near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it. They looked so good, that it made Alice quite hungry.

Alice was in a court for the first time. But she read about courts in books 'That's the judge,' she said to herself, 'because of his great wig.'

The judge was the King; and as he wore his crown over the wig, he did not look comfortable.