I drew a deep sobbing breath. It’s too hard. Those motherfuckers. They planned it. All of it.

There was a pause, as if she was hesitating. The crown.

No, I said. No, no, no. Then I thought of the dream I’d woken up from. Of Professor Wispwood lifting the circlet off my head.

The pain stung even worse. They made me choose, I said hollowly. They got into my head and they made me choose this. I did this.

You didn’t choose this, Orcades insisted. Not consciously.

But I did. It could have been Florence.

Florence, the sweet, smart, bookish girl who I had come to love like a sister.

The crown had sat atop my head, piercing my thoughts with its bitter powers. And it had seen something I’d never have admitted out loud. That I loved Florence more than Naveen. It had taken my two dearest friends and made a mockery of friendship, of love, of loyalty.

The only thing you can do for Naveen now, my mother said, is let him die with dignity.

Dignity? I let out a choking hiccuping sob and rolled away as another spider-like limb pierced down where I’d just been. How can there be any dignity when they’ve done this to him?

It’s a mercy killing, my mother said softly. Think of the boy’s parents.

I knew she was right. That didn’t make it feel any less like a betrayal.

The creature that was once Naveen let out an inhuman screech and darted towards me with unnatural speed. I dodged, but this time I wasn’t fast enough. Maybe I didn’t want to be.

One of his long, spindly legs caught my side, slashing me open with sharp, needle-like claws.

I knocked it aside with the buckler, then rolled away, clutching at my ribs, feeling the blood seep through my fingers.

For a moment, pain coursed through me and the thought crossed my mind: What if I just let it happen? Blake’s blood couldn’t heal me fast enough if I just let Naveen attack me over and over again. It would be painful but quick. This entire nightmare would finally be over. I’d have escaped.

Don’t you dare, my mother’s voice warned sternly. You end him now before he ends you. Think beyond yourself. Beyond this moment. Take courage. Beyond the darkness lies the light.

Light.

I tried to do as she said. I thought of Florence. Her kindness and her brilliance.

I thought of Blake, whose bullying had evolved into a strange protection. Blake who I couldn’t quite bring myself to fully hate.

I even thought of the fluffin, ridiculous Neville with his soft fur and happy nature, scooting back and forth across the school, unable to decide if he belonged to Florence or to Blake. He saw something good in each of them, something maybe even I hadn’t fully glimpsed yet.

They were waiting for me. Blake didn’t want me to fail. He’d given me his blood to make sure I got out of here.

I thought of Naveen’s parents. My heart ached. I owed them this much. Their son deserved a peaceful end. Better he find his rest at my hands than at Regan’s.

Tears blurred my vision. I blinked them away, determination filling my chest.

The spider-creature charged again, its legs clattering against the floor in a horrifying rhythm.

I dodged to the side, ignoring the sting of my wound.

I was faster this time. I didn’t hesitate.

I swiped at one of the spider’s legs, severing it at the joint. Naveen screeched in agony, staggering back.

I thought of Florence, watching back at Bloodwing, and the tears poured down my face.

I knew what I had to do. But my sword felt heavy in my hand.

Naveen lunged again. I tried to block but one of his massive legs crashed into my sword arm, knocking the blade from my grip. It fell to the floor, skidding out of reach.

I ducked down, yanking Coregon’s dagger free from my boot.

Let’s finish this, my mother murmured softly. Together.

Naveen darted forward again but I was ready. I dove and drove the dagger into the spider’s capacious chest, right where its heart should have been. I ripped the knife savagely back and forth, tearing a wide swathe in the creature’s underside.

Guts and viscous black fluid rained down on me. I gagged. Overhead, the spider-creature convulsed violently and collapsed.

I stood over it, looking down into its black eyes. Was Naveen still in there? Looking back at me somehow?

I wiped at the tears on my cheeks, my heart heavy.

I could taste the blood magic, my mother said, her voice filled with disgust. The dark sorcery that bound him. His soul was already gone. You just gave his body peace.

I nodded, closing my eyes, trying to let the weight of her words sink in fully. Naveen had already been lost. The highbloods did this to him, not me.

But I couldn't escape the feeling of guilt. The Crown of Bone had been placed upon my head. I was the culpable one.

From across the room, I heard a scream. My eyes snapped open.

Regan was fighting her own monster. Blood ran down her arms as she raised her sword, trying to keep the creature at bay.

Her cocky arrogance had fled.

You don’t owe her anything, my mother reminded me.

I glanced across the room. The doors on the opposite side had opened halfway. I could slip through them, leaving Regan behind.

Regan had tried to kill me. She might put things to rest after this. Or she might do it again.

Leaving her would be the justice she deserved.

I clenched my teeth. I can’t.

Cursing under my breath, I sprinted across the room. The creature had cornered Regan, its long legs pinning her to the floor.

I didn’t hesitate, I threw my buckler at the spider-like monster, hitting it square in the back.

The creature shrieked and turned towards me. I refused to look it in the eyes. A First Year girl. This was a First Year girl once.

“Hey!” I shouted, waving my arms like an idiot and backing away. “Come and get me!”

Behind the creature, Regan was rolling to her feet. She grabbed the sword she’d dropped as I continued to distract the spider, trying to give her the opening she needed.

It was enough.

Regan ran forward and plunged her sword into the creature’s side, piercing its hide. She withdrew the sword and stabbed it again, then a third time.  The monster screeched and writhed, collapsing to the floor.

Regan wiped the blood from the blade on her thigh and shot me a haughty look I knew only too well.

“What took you so long?”

I bit back a retort.

We didn’t say another word to one another as we turned and headed towards the doors.

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CHAPTER 55 - MEDRA

Two days later, I sat on my bed in the First Year dorm, knees pulled up, arms wrapped around them. Beside me, Florence leaned against my side, her head on my shoulder. We’d both been crying.

The weather reflected both our moods. Storm clouds were gathering outside the diamond latticed windows.

The skin around my eyes felt as if it had been rubbed raw from all of the tears I’d shed since the Games had ended.

But the tears weren’t the worst part. What I couldn’t escape was the guilt that twisted inside me like a knife, sharp and relentless.

Florence shifted, wiping at her red eyes. “I can’t believe he's really gone,” she whispered, for what must have been the hundredth time that day.

I slipped my arm around her. This wasn’t about me, I reminded myself. It was about Florence. It was about Naveen’s parents.

I’d already started writing the Sharmas a letter. Florence said she’d write one, too, and we could send them together.

“A few days before the Games,” Florence said suddenly. “Naveen said he had something to tell me.”

I froze. “He did? What did he say?”