Never.

No one had ever made me feel the way he did.

I didn’t think it was even possible for someone to have such power over someone else’s nervous system. To conjure such pleasure. To annihilate my entire existence.

I froze as my mind latched onto that idea.

Wait.

Was that how I could help his pain and his blood helped mine?

Was it true that everyone had their perfect puzzle piece and once you found each other you became whole? Were we that fated that his body could cure mine and vice versa?

His throat worked as he swallowed hard. Wiping a hand over his mouth, he shook his head as if he couldn’t quite believe what we’d done.

With a soft growl, Whisper unwound from his spot and padded toward his master. Nudging Lucien gently, he sensed things I couldn’t see.

Lucien rested his hand on the giant cat, his shoulders sagging.

Were his pain levels unbearable again?

Was I wrong?

Had I made him worse instead of better?

“Go and clean up.” He arched his chin at the door. “We’re running out of time.”

He’d said that before.

What did he mean, we were running out of time?

Trapped in here we had nothing but time.

But before I could ask, he bared his teeth and ordered, “Go. I won’t ask again. Meet me in the blood-harvesting room.”

Before I could refuse, he stalked through his bedroom and vanished into his private bathroom.

Chapter Fifty-One

I STAGGERED AGAINST THE WALL THE moment I closed the door.

I couldn’t control my heart rate.

Grabbing the sink, I bent over and glowered at myself in the mirror.

What the hell was that?

What the fuck did we do?

My fingers dug into the cold marble as blissful aftershocks continued to detonate in my blood.

I waited for the vitalsync core to punish me.

For Marcus to see how ragged my pulse was and knock me out like usual.

I braced for it.

I cursed it.

The thought of sleeping through my own rebellion made me want to howl and snarl and...

Nothing happened.

Or if it did, it didn’t affect me.

Straightening warily, I pulled aside my shirt.

A red light flickered.

By all accounts, I should be on the floor writhing in absolute agony.

But I wasn’t...

I narrowed my eyes at the hated piece of metal just waiting for it to trick me. But it just kept flashing, harmless and numb.

How?

Why?

A disbelieving laugh escaped. “That’s it?” I shook my head. “That’s the trick?”

I’d spent two decades suffering, yet I’d never once felt pleasure. True raw, sexual pleasure.

Until now.

The realisation smacked me hard.

All those nights I’d fought the torment—all those times I’d been forced to my knees in despair. If I’d actually lowered myself to jerking off, would I have had this level of release?

Or was it because of her?

The second I thought about her, my body tightened as I relived every touch, every rock and squeeze and clench.

I’d never felt anything like it.

Never wanted to.

But now, I didn’t think I’d survive without doing it again and again and again.

Fuck, I wanted her—

Whisper scratched at the door, jerking me back into urgency.

If I wanted her, then I had to focus.

I didn’t have time to waste.

I’d committed to seeing this through and everything else would have to wait.

Because today was the day.

By tonight, I would be free...or dead.

And the very execution of my breakout relied entirely on the very woman who’d just scrambled my heart, set fire to my blood, and blown apart my very existence.

All those rules of never going near a girl still stood.

All my promises that I would die a virgin—so I never ran the risk of cursing another like me, remained.

And yet...

If I managed to get out tonight.

If I somehow won after twenty years of slavery?

Well then...

My reward would be her.

As often as she’d have me.

Chapter Fifty-Two

“ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?” I WHISPERED, unhooking the last blood bag from his cuffed wrist and sticking the printed barcode onto it.

I really hadn’t the mental capacity to deal with bleeding him today.

Not after what happened between us.

Not after what we did.

But it seemed as if I was the only one still utterly drunk on need because Lucien had returned to being cold and callous.

There was something about him that set my teeth on edge. A level of tension that hadn’t been there before.

“I’m fine.” Resting his head against the recliner beside the computers that’d already sent notice that a fresh batch of Ashfall blood was ready to collect, he sighed heavily. Blue painted his lips again and exhaustion muted him, making my heart flutter.

Resting the back of my hand on his forehead, I cursed the contradiction of him.

His eyes flew wide, locking onto mine. “What are you doing?”

I couldn’t look away, even as I dropped my hand.

His lips might be blue, but his skin was fiery.

His face looked almost corpse-like in the harsh lighting, but there was an undercurrent too. Something that made him seem more alive, more dangerous than ever before.

“Well?” he demanded.

“I was checking you don’t have a temperature. You look like you’re coming down with something.”

“What could I possibly be coming down with?” He smiled tightly. “No viruses exist in here and no one gets close to me but you.”

My stomach clenched, ridiculously pleased that I was the only one to touch him, pleasure him.

“Bleeding yourself every three days isn’t sustainable. It’s killing you—”

“You’re calling me weak?” His energy went sharp, daring me to call him out on his suffering.

God, I wanted to.

I wanted to pick a fight with him.

To lay claim to him, to demand he finish what he started back in his bedroom, but...my headache hadn’t receded and no matter how much water I’d splashed on my face in the bathroom, I couldn’t seem to rid myself of the feverish heat he’d caused.

If he didn’t want to talk about what happened, then fine.

Tomorrow was another day.

“I’m not calling you anything,” I muttered, carrying his horribly cooling blood to the fridge. Placing it on the rocking shelf, it looked like a snack for a vampire.

A wave of nausea made my skin prickle.

I slammed the glass door and spun to face him. “Is that everything? Can I go?”

“No, you can’t.” Grabbing the armrests, he climbed unsteadily to his feet. “Today isn’t over.”

I frowned because usually on the days I bled him, he’d spend the rest of it in bed.

Did that mean he wanted me to join him in bed?

I swallowed hard as hope—

“Come with me.” His footsteps sounded as lethal as Whisper’s panther paws as he headed toward the cupboard full of nasty implements, needles, and vials. Noises echoed—the tear of plastic, the clink of metal, followed by a masculine hiss.

I blanched as he hooked up yet another blood bag and gritted his teeth as glossy dark red siphoned into the empty bladder.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Dashing toward him, I grabbed his forearm, trying to unhook the line from his silver cuff. His bare arm stung my fingertips. The rolled-up cuff of his black shirt was far too sexy.

Pushing me away with his free hand, he huffed, “Grab me a vial.” He cocked his chin at the drawer by my hip, his voice as dry as ash. “Do it.”

I wanted so badly to refuse because I knew what he was doing, and it made guilt settle like a boulder in my chest.

Gritting my teeth so I didn’t say something I’d regret, I did as he asked and grabbed the same sort of vial that Evelyn and Lydia had stolen from me.