As we ran through the sprawling gorgeous gardens, past pagodas and koi-carp-filled ponds, my mind raced.

I wasn’t sure if I was running to save Lucien...or running because I couldn’t stand another hour without seeing him, but the closer we got to the black stone palace, the more I fretted about how we’d left things and all the complicated feelings that refused to leave.

I...didn’t want to fight with him anymore.

I didn’t want to have to protect myself from how he made me feel and all the urges that’d steadily gotten worse.

He might be treated like a beast. Caged like one. Tortured like one. And ready to kill all those who threatened the meagre life he had, but...he was more than that to me now.

“What could I do for your master to show I’m on his side?” I asked Whisper as we cut up the steps of Cinderkeep.

The panther shot me an odd look and kept moving.

I had nothing to offer, apart from myself.

I couldn’t break him out, and I couldn’t buy him anything.

I didn’t know his likes and dislikes, and I had nothing of value in here.

“I want to thank him,” I whispered. “I want to show him how much I appreciate that he bled himself for me. That he recognised my pain and tried to stop me from suffering. If he’s suffering too, then I want to try to do the same.”

Whisper might have a large vocabulary and seemed almost human with his mannerisms but...he was still just a panther and gave me no answers.

I ran into the palace anyway, seeking out the one man to ever affect me.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I FOUND HIM DRINKING TEA OUTSIDE in his courtyard.

Unlike other people in my life who drank hot beverages just for the caffeine-hit, Lucien didn’t throw back a mug of whatever. Instead—either thanks to sheer boredom or his heritage—he made it a ritual.

The white china teapot was painted with blue oriental dragons. The teacup covered in matching periwinkle clouds. Steam rose from the teapot spout, hinting he’d only just sat down after doing whatever it was that he did in the mornings.

Did he exercise?

Did he swim?

I’d found an indoor swimming pool last week while cleaning—okay, snooping. The west side of the palace had been transformed from an impressive greenhouse into a long glass-covered indoor swimming pool, complete with a steam room, ice plunge, and spa.

It didn’t make sense why—if he was a prisoner—they delivered such incredible food and spared no expense on health and wellness equipment. Why wasn’t he trapped in a prison cell or a small cabin in the middle of nowhere? But...if I looked at it in the way of keeping their investment as healthy and robust as possible, it gave a morbid twist to his luxurious cage.

They needed him alive for as long as his body would hold out—even with the regular torture.

“So you do remember the way, after all,” he muttered, sipping his cup and glowering at the single tree in the centre of the courtyard. “I was beginning to wonder when you didn’t show up yesterday.”

Here we go...

Verbal admonishment coming up.

I would take whatever he wanted to dish out, so I could come out the other side and do my best to make him see me. See my good intentions. See that I wasn’t like the others. See that I was ready to be his friend.

Bracing myself, I moved to stand in front of him. “Go on then, scold me.” I froze as my gaze darted over him. “Wait...”

He really didn’t look good.

His usual predator-like stillness couldn’t hide the barest of tremors. His dark eyes rimmed red from lack of sleep while dark crescents bruised the skin beneath. His cheekbones cut sharply, and all the colour had leeched from his mouth. Even the hand holding the teacup trembled before he steadied it against his knee.

“I knew it!” I rushed to touch him but stopped myself. “That’s why you didn’t come to fetch me. You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine.”

I scowled. “You look like death chewed you up and spat you out.”

“Good morning to you, too.” He stiffened as his gaze danced over my face, drinking me in like I’d drank him. “You seem concerned about my welfare yet...what happened to you?”

I stood taller and arched my chin. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You had another episode, didn’t you?”

I crossed my arms, unnerved that he could read me so well. “I didn’t sleep well, that’s all.”

“You truly are one of the worst they’ve thrown in here,” he murmured, sipping his tea like an emperor. “Completely hopeless.”

My temper sparked, but I held my tongue.

I won’t argue. I’ll be nice...

“Why didn’t you use what I gave you?” Throwing back the last mouthful of tea, he placed the delicate cup back on the shell-inlaid side table and stood. “At least one of us wouldn’t have been in pain last night.” His jaw clenched, causing the tendons in his throat to appear. His signature black shirt and trousers were covered with his floor-length black coat, the front buttons done up as if he felt a chill even in the morning sun.

The urge to go to him and offer support, even if he didn’t accept it, made my legs itchy to move.

“So you did suffer last night,” I whispered. “Are you okay?”

He utterly ignored me. “Why didn’t you drink the vial?”

The desperation to ask for another dose of his strange painkilling blood stung my tongue. Just being around him made my system misfire and all that intensity scraped at my bones, promising another rough night of emotional whiplash.

But I couldn’t just come out and say I needed another dose.

It would make me like them.

He’d hate me even more than he already did.

“I...” I smiled the best I could. “I—”

“Had it stolen from you, didn’t you?” He smirked and brushed past me, heading toward the palace.

“How did you—?”

“Wait.” He spun around so fast, his coat flared around his legs. “They actually stole it?”

I blushed and ducked my chin. How did he do that? How did he ferret out the truth when I had absolutely no intention of admitting it? “It’s fine. I hadn’t really had any intention of drinking—”

“Why?” he snapped, cutting me off with a snarl. “How are you the only person in this world who looks as if I’m trying to poison you, when everyone else would happily bleed me dry? Would you rather hurt that much than take something that I gave you?”

Moving toward him, overwhelming gratitude filled me as Whisper came to join us, slinking lazily through the door and weaving first around Lucien and then around me, almost as if encouraging us not to fight.

“Believe me,” I said quietly, my heart skipping a beat as I lost myself in Lucien’s fathomless stare. “I learned my lesson last night.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means, I would’ve happily drunk every droplet, despite my aversion.” I shrugged. “Last night was...rough.”

“So that’s why you’re here?” He sniffed. “You had the first bottle stolen and now expect me to give you another?”

“No!” I blurted, a knee-jerk reaction before I slouched with a wince. “I mean...maybe?”

He laughed icily. “I wondered when you would finally stop lying to me.” He pointed a finger in my face. “So you are just like them. You’re just after my blood and—”

“No!” I cut in, my own temper clashing with his. “I still find it abhorrent what they do to you and if I had any other option, there is no way I would ask you to help me—especially like that. But...next time...if I get that bad, perhaps I could come to you, and you could—”

“Let you drink straight from my vein?”

“What?” My cheeks burned in horror. “No, I—”

“Get to work,” he cut me off yet again, stepping through the door into the huge living room. “The more chores you do, the more salary I’ll owe you. Isn’t that how our little arrangement works?”