“Ada, not every guy is going to be a bastard like Perry’s dad,” I tell her.

She blows out a breath. “Maybe you’re right. But it’s not about me right now. It’s about you. Ask yourself, Tess. Do you think you really care about Hunter? Does it feel like it’s just hormones?”

I let myself consider that, thinking about his quiet smile and his grumpy demeanor and his silly jokes at the most random of times, trying to imagine never experiencing any of it ever again. The thought fills me with immediate melancholy.

“It feels real,” I half whisper. “Is that stupid?”

“Not if you feel it,” Ada says. “You know your heart better than anyone else. And as scary as it is—and believe me, I know it is—sometimes you have to trust it. Even if it means you might get hurt. You’ll never know otherwise.”

“Maybe you’re right,” I say thickly.

“Of course I am,” she chuffs. “I’m always right.”

That gets a watery laugh out of me. “Of course you are.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I think so. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Just remember that you can follow your dreams without giving up everything you love,” she tells me.

Love.

It feels strange to even think it, but it also feels odd how not strange it is. I’ve never felt longing like this, never felt this need to be with another person—to see them, to touch them, to simply be near them—and what else could that be if not love?

It’s as terrifying as it is exhilarating.

“Thank you,” I say. “I really needed this.”

“I’m always here for you, babe,” she assures me. “You know I love you.”

“I love you too,” I say with a broken sort of laugh.

“Now go rip off the Band-Aid and tell your parents everything you’ve told me.”

“Maybe I’ll leave out some parts.”

She chuckles. “Probably a good idea.”

“I’ll talk to you soon?”

“I hope so. Sounds like you might miss my birthday though, superstar.”

“I’m so sorry,” I tell her.

“Don’t be,” she urges. “I’m happy for you.”

“I’ll call you later.”

“You’d better.”

I hang up the phone, feeling only slightly better than I did before.

The drive from the airport to Newport Beach takes barely half an hour—I’m bone-tired after two flights in a twenty-four-hour period—and I’m grateful for the proximity of my childhood home now more than ever. It’s the same as always—red door, shingled roof that’s seen better days, wide wraparound porch that holds memories of hide-and-seek and tag and hot cocoa while it rains—and I know that inside is an abundance of love and understanding that I can’t get anywhere else.

Well, at least that’s what I thought until very recently.

Mom’s car is gone from the driveway, but Dad’s old pickup is parked where it always is, and I realize after checking the time that Mom has most likely run off to her weekly book club meeting with her girlfriends. It’s not ideal, since I wanted to tell them together, but I know if I don’t get all this off my chest now, it’s going to eat me alive. The excitement is too great, as is the strange forlornness that I can’t seem to shake.

I knew from the minute I signed the contract that I needed to tell my dad in person, but now that I’m here…there’s a wariness in me. Almost as if I’m worried he’ll be upset that I’ve been keeping things from him.

I knock before testing the handle, then turn it and push the door open before calling, “Dad?”

“Back here,” he says.

I find him in his old recliner, already lowering the raised leg rest and looking at me with pure confusion as he pulls himself from the chair. “Tess?”

“Hey, Dad,” I say, moving to meet him for a hug. “Surprise.”

“What on earth are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Colorado.”

“I was,” I tell him, moving to the couch, where he sinks down beside me. “But I came home because I have good news.”

His forehead wrinkles, his brown eyes that are just like mine squinting under his thick brows. “News?”

I take a deep breath as I gather my thoughts…and then I tell him. About the first time HGTV tapped our shoulders, about the waiting game we’ve been playing while they deliberated, about the offer—all of it. He listens with rapt attention, letting me get it everything out before he releases a heavy breath.

“That’s…Wow, Tess. That’s fantastic.” He chuckles softly. “Your mother is going to wanna whoop your ass when she finds out you kept all this a secret.”

“I didn’t want to tell you until I had good news,” I explain. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Get our hopes up?” He cocks his head. “This is your thing, kiddo. We would have just wanted to support you, is all.”

“About that…” I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to find a way to come out and say what I need to say. “I haven’t told you about the signing bonus,” I say. “It’s thirty grand, Dad. It’s enough to schedule that operation.”

His breath catches as he rears back, confusion painting his features. My dad is a proud man, and I’ve prepared myself for some pushback on this, so I’m already preparing my ten-point argument when he surprises me by throwing his arms around me, hugging me tight as he buries his face in my hair.

“Oh, hon,” he says, his voice thick. “My sweet girl.”

My fingers tangle in his shirt, my eyes prickling with tears. “I need you to be okay,” I say, sniffling. “This will make sure that you are.”

“Baby girl,” he chokes out. “I’d have been okay regardless. You didn’t need to do this for me.”

“Of course I did,” I argue. “Someone has to look out for you.”

He chuckles as he pulls back, wiping at his eyes. “You’ve gotten real good at that over the years, haven’t you?”

His hand touches my cheek, and I cover it with mine, feeling a tear slip out to collide with his fingers. He brushes it away, smiling.

“Tell me why you look so sad,” he says.

I startle, my brow wrinkling. “What? Of course I’m not sad. I’m happy, Dad. Really happy. This is what I’ve been working toward for months. Why on earth would I be sad?”

“Kiddo,” he laughs. “You’ve spent most of your life taking care of people, and I’ve always been so proud of you for that. It’s just who you are. Ever since you learned how to walk, you’ve been offering up a helping hand to one person or another, but you can’t fool me. You never could. I know when my baby is hurting.”

My traitorous eyes begin to well with more tears, and I feel them spilling like I’m a little girl again, my heart aching. “They want me to start right away.”

“And that’s…bad?”

“I don’t know,” I cry. “I just…It’s just…”

“Deep breath,” Dad says. “In and out.”

I do as he says, drawing in a steadying breath and releasing it slowly until the panic rising inside me starts to quell. I have so many feelings right now that I don’t know what to do with.

“I met someone,” I tell him. “In Colorado.”

He looks surprised but masks it quickly. “You did?”

“I did,” I say with a nod, and his hand falls from my cheek to hold mine in my lap. “And he’s…Well. He’s wonderful, really.”

“And that makes you sad?”

I shake my head at his playful tone. “No. No. But he’s—he’s tied to that place. His entire life is there. He’d never leave it. And here I am in another state, about to be tied down to a contract for at least six months. Maybe more. I won’t have time to breathe, much less visit. How can I ask him to wait for me? He barely knows me. I can’t do that to him. But he’s…he’s lost so much already. I don’t want to be another thing he loses. I just don’t see how I can avoid it.”

“That…” Dad nods solemnly. “That is a tough one.”

He doesn’t know the half of it. If I were to tell him everything—about my new designation, about the heats, the shifting, all of it—his head might explode. Probably a conversation for a time when I’m not already falling to pieces. Besides, I think that’s definitely something I want to tell him and Mom at the same time.