Modern culture has perfected this mechanism. Now you’re not told outright that you’re "bad." Instead, ideals are created that you must conform to. Social networks, advertising, media show "ideal" people with "ideal" bodies and "ideal" lives. You look at this and feel you’ll never measure up. You feel ashamed of your body, your desires, that you’re not what you "should" be. And you start trying: work more, buy more, adjust more to standards. But these standards are an illusion. They’re specifically designed so that you always feel not good enough.

Research confirms that chronic guilt destroys a person. According to the Journal of Neuroscience (2020), people who experience constant guilt have a 40% higher level of anxiety and are 30% more likely to suffer from depression. The amygdala in such people operates in a state of heightened activity, and cortisol levels remain consistently high. This makes them vulnerable to external influence and unable to critically assess their condition.

Guilt is not an emotion that helps you become better. It destroys your individuality, forcing you to suppress your desires and doubt your thoughts. You start living not your life but the life prescribed by society. You’re afraid to be yourself because you’ve been taught that being yourself is bad. And the more you try to conform, the more you feel guilty for not being able to achieve it.

But the truth is, guilt is not your nature. It is artificially created to make you easier to control. This mechanism benefits the system because a person who constantly feels something is wrong with them becomes obedient. They will work, buy, conform, but never ask: "Why should I live this way?"

Recognizing this scheme is the first step to liberation. It’s important to ask yourself questions: "Who said my desires are wrong?" "Why should I feel guilty for being who I am?" These questions break imposed boundaries. You begin to see that your desires are not wrong. What’s wrong is the system that made your natural state a source of shame. You are not made to fix yourself. You are made to be yourself. And you have the right to break these chains.

Why Power and Submission Are So Frightening

You fear power because it demands honesty. You fear submission because it demands trust. These states force you to face your true self, without masks or excuses. Power and submission are not opposites, as you were led to believe. They are mirrors that show who you are. And what could be scarier than seeing yourself without illusions?

The fear of power is rooted in responsibility. When you take control of a situation, you must take responsibility for it. This makes you vulnerable because your decisions become visible. You fear judgment, fear making mistakes, fear failing to meet expectations. Power reveals your strength, but with it also your weaknesses. It requires you to abandon the habit of shifting responsibility onto others and take it upon yourself.

Submission frightens in a different way. It breaks the illusion of complete control over your life. In a world where weakness is considered a vice, trust becomes an act of bravery. You fear that by trusting, you will lose yourself, become a victim. But in reality, submission is not weakness but liberation. It’s a way to let go of unnecessary tension, to give up some control, and to learn to live in harmony with yourself and others. It is not a renunciation of freedom but a new form of it – the freedom to trust.

Society has demonized these states for centuries. Power was portrayed as oppression, submission as humiliation. Why? Because conscious power makes you strong, and conscious submission makes you free. Someone who understands their boundaries becomes unpredictable for the system. Stereotypes about power and submission are an attempt to keep you within the bounds of fear so that you don’t realize they can be tools of self-discovery.

Scientific research confirms that power and submission are deeply connected to psychological resilience. Activation of the prefrontal cortex, associated with managing situations, helps reduce anxiety and build confidence. And trust, arising in the process of submission, reduces the activity of the amygdala, responsible for fear, and allows you to feel safe.

Your fears are rooted in childhood. When you were taught that power is evil because it oppresses, and submission is weakness because it makes you vulnerable. But true power is self-control, and submission is acceptance. They show you the boundaries of your personality and teach you how to interact with others. You are not afraid of them but of who you might become if you stop being afraid. Power and submission are not enemies but tools that can open the way to true freedom if you allow yourself to look in the mirror.

How Freedom Begins with Accepting Your Boundaries

Freedom is not chaos where anything goes, nor is it the absence of rules. It’s the ability to understand what you truly want and to realize where your desire ends and your responsibility begins. True freedom begins with accepting your boundaries. These boundaries are not a prison or an obstacle. They are the foundation of your personality, helping you to be yourself in a world full of expectations, pressure, and illusions.

We are used to perceiving boundaries as limitations. We were taught that being free means knowing no limits. But the truth is that boundaries give us freedom. They protect us from chaos, from unnecessary energy expenditure, from trying to please everyone at once. They tell us: "This is where you are. This is your territory. Here you can choose." Accepting your boundaries is the rejection of the illusion that you can be everything to everyone. It’s the realization that you don’t have to control everything and everyone, that there are things in the world that simply don’t depend on you. And that’s okay.

Boundaries are the map of your personality. Without them, you get lost in others’ expectations, forgetting what you want for yourself. You start living to conform rather than to be. But when you accept your boundaries, you stop scattering yourself. You learn to say "no" where it matters and "yes" to what helps you grow. This is not weakness but true strength. You stop trying to be perfect and start being yourself.

Freedom begins when you realize that you cannot control everything. And this is not defeat. It’s liberation. You are not omnipotent – and that is your strength. When you accept that there are things you cannot change, you begin to focus on what is truly in your hands. You stop fighting reality and find your place in it.

Scientific studies show that awareness of your boundaries reduces stress levels and increases psychological resilience. The prefrontal cortex of the brain, responsible for self-control, helps regulate emotions and make balanced decisions. According to the Journal of Psychology & Health (2022), people who are aware of their boundaries are 35% more likely to achieve their goals and 40% less likely to experience burnout. This is not a restriction of freedom but its enhancement. When you understand that you can control yourself, you become freer than when you try to control everything around you.

Freedom in accepting boundaries manifests in two paradoxical things: power and submission. Power through accepting boundaries is self-control. It’s the ability to say "no" to what destroys and "yes" to what helps. It’s not about dictating others but about controlling your decisions and emotions. And submission through boundaries is the ability to trust. When you understand that you don’t have to keep everything under control, you let go of fear. You find peace in trust, stop fighting situations, and open space for new opportunities. This is not weakness but strength that comes with the realization that control is not always your duty.