" The walls are closer to home in my own town. Well, don't worry about the job. I've always sensed in you a path of self-sacrifice… You'll go to school as an English teacher. It was offered.”

Ramila finished her speech and, frowning, sat down next to me. In my mind I knew she was right. I should have left back then… insisted on my own way… and maybe Dimitri and I would have gotten married and would be together now.

" Ir, don't be silly. Your Dimitri won't do anything to you. But it's good to get a proper employment record. Honestly, I didn't think you'd get a job at all.”

" Supported, " I grinned.

" What's the big deal? You went to see where your frustrated husband pretends to work. Maybe you'd run into him and spit in his face!”

I silently took an apple from the package and bit into it. Ramila knew where to hit and, as always, hit the target. I didn't have much money. Well, actually, I had some, just from a failed payment. But I had to work. I'm tired of running around with students. And worst of all, my parents… I never told them the truth. They think I've gone to my future husband and we're getting married soon. I've talked about it so much. But when they find out the truth… And then it'll be known to all the relatives. I've been told. Warned me.

" Ramil, borrow a dress, " I suddenly said. " That black, classic.”

" You can take the boat shoes too," my friend smiled triumphantly.

A woman's shriek kicked me out of the dream. I jerked upward, then downward as well, collapsing from the narrow bed to the floor, my elbows hitting the floor painfully.

" Are you crazy?!”

Ramila flew in and shook the rolling pin at me belligerently. I was impressed by the look on my friend's face: a stretched T-shirt, disheveled black hair, and a dazed look, and I hurried to deny it:

" It's not me!”

" And who? " Ramila didn't believe her.

" Ah-ah-ah! " I heard a confirmation of my honesty from the yard.

We leaned against the window and looked at a pudgy aunt, dressed in a chintz nightgown that looked like a ghost's shroud, plain-haired and barefoot. She was darting around the garden with the agility of a hippopotamus, running away from a skinny man in a striped alcoholic shirt.

" Get out! " Ramila shouted angrily.

She had an interview in the morning at a salon on Tverskaya Street. The visitors there were wealthy, and the prices were correspondingly high. The stackable salary – just a dream. So to the appearance of the masters requirements were appropriate. And to go there with black eyes – mauveton!

The participants of the race did not pay attention to the owner of the plot. The man continued to chase the "ghost", shaking a metal meter spoon for shoes. Enraged, Ramilya threw a rolling pin at the aggressor. Frenzy corrected her eyesight, and she hit.

Wounded in the remnants of his brain, the man fell to the ground, staring at us dumbfounded. He had no time to say anything. The "victim" flew up to him and put an old iron bucket on his head with a swing. Then, emitting a battle cry, ran away like a racehorse, swinging over the fence. The man, spreading his arms, stretched out on the ground. We looked at each other.

" It's crazy," Ramilya shared her thoughts with me.

" Did she kill him?”

" I hope not. The only thing we need is a corpse in the yard!”

Without wasting time, my friend climbed out the window and went to the defeated, on the way again armed with a rolling pin. Stopping half a meter away, she hesitantly stomped. I, figuring that it would be easier to escape through the door than through the window, rushed out into the hallway. Having jumped out into the street and turned on the lantern over the visor, I asked:

" Well, what is it?”

" I didn't understand yet.”

She decided to achieve mutual understanding in the simplest way – by kicking the man under the ribs. He let out an inarticulate wheeze. I grabbed a five-liter water bottle, which had been living in the hallway since the last owner's time, and ordered:

" Take off the bucket!”

Ramilya took off the bucket, and I immediately threw the water that had long bloomed and had already managed to rot in his face. I don't know whether it was the smell or the effect of surprise. " The man sat up jerkily. We jumped away from him.”

" Who are you? " he asked in a clear voice.

" I am a guardian of Valhalla, Viking, and now we're going to cast you back to Earth! " Ramila snorted and swung the bucket at him.

" Ivan! How long will I wait for you?! Go home now!"

The man jumped up from his sitting position and skipped like a goat toward the fence, behind which the same woman in the same nightgown was looming. When we saw how easily the couple overcame our one-meter fence, we looked at each other again. "The ghost gave us a look of contempt and walked away.

" High relationship," I muttered.

" What do you think about replacing the fence with a two-meter high, solid fence?"

I vividly pictured the two of them hopping the cement fence like monkeys, and I shook my head.

" It wouldn't work. The circus talents of the participants can attract the attention of the audience."

The expression: "I wish I could relive it under anesthesia" became closer and clearer to me than ever. Moscow in the morning was no longer friendly and beautiful. There were so many people in the subway. " And in order not to fall under the wheels of the train, I had to hold on to a column, otherwise they would tear it down."

People glared at each other unhappily. The phrases "here we are!" and "why don't you sit at home?" were heard more and more often. However, there was still some order. The general flow brought and carried people into the cars. It was only necessary to get in at the right time. Only I didn't have such talent and could only get into the third train and then, with difficulty, fall out of it. During the trip I had been stomped on all my feet and elbowed in the stomach.

Feeling as if I had survived the unequal struggle, the first thing I did was hop into the restroom and try to clean myself up. Turns out I wasn't the only one. So while I was wiping my shoes with wet wipes, I got to know half the office.

When I learned that I was Andrew's new secretary, people rejoiced, but they wished me good luck in my new job. No one seemed to believe that I would stay for long.

Deciding not to pay attention to them, I went to Ms.Adams 's office. Since yesterday I forgot to specify where I should sit, but on the way I met Julia. The blonde, rushing somewhere down the stairs, seeing me, happily splashed her hands and immediately grabbed me under the elbow.

" Hi! I'm glad you came. Come on, I'll take you to the reception!"

" Hi," I said carefully, not thinking of objecting.

" You're good, you got it right. There's hardly any makeup, and the dress is modest. And that before you was a whole circle of secretaries, with battle coloring and skirt belt!"

Julia spoke contemptuously, which was strange. The blonde herself had plump bright red lips. And she was dressed in a white blouse and a narrow blue pencil skirt. And the heel was so high that if you stumble, you are guaranteed a fracture. And a concussion on top of that. A fall from that height is not without consequences.

" Andrew… the office is separate from the deputies. He doesn't like to be around a lot of people. Look: coffee maker, cups, and this is your desk."

I looked around, the room was small. The secretary's desk was against the wall, and there was a corner leather sofa for visitors. The table with the coffee maker, cups and all, was hidden behind a sprawling ornamental palm tree.