He slowly came up and stood over me, legs wide apart. He looked like a mythological, predatory diva. It is impossible to imagine a human being so angry. But the facial features are correct, the eyes are not red. But they shone coldly. You feel powerless in front of such a creature.

He said something in Afghan. It seems that my nationality is being questioned. But then a miracle happened… Our people broke in, untied me and two other prisoners. The dushmans were captured. We picked up the remains of two comrades and returned to the unit.

I don't want to stir up a lot of things. From these memories, blood rushes to the brain. You're numb. The feeling of fear, anxiety does not leave my heart. There, on that land, what happiness it was to meet, and talk with your fellow countrymen. Now, noticing that this feeling of love and tenderness is cooling, I am surprised, and fear creeps into my soul. I think we're starting to get bored with each other. But don't write down these words of mine. It's just my feelings.

I meet a lot of people who are rude in their treatment. And every time, it's like a new wound.

One day, we went on a mission to Pansher.  We are exhausted on the road. The hot wind, dust, and tension exhausted us. Here we came to a mountain stream with clear water. There are eight of us. It was hard to resist the temptation to swim in the cool water. We looked around carefully. Having made sure of their safety, my comrades bathed. But I was uneasy in my soul. Without undressing, I began to wipe my machine gun. It seemed to me that someone was watching us, and I constantly looked around. And for good reason. A shot rang out. I fired a burst from the machine in that direction. In response, they fired again. Two of my friends were killed, the rest managed to grab their weapons and take cover. We saw that several Afghans were approaching us and began to retreat along the river to the ruins of the old village. In order not to get too far from the road, we decided to take up defense in an abandoned yard near the shore. The walls here were high. Through a hole made in the wall for water, we penetrated inside. But then something unexpected happened. The foreman, a big man, is stuck. Only I was left outside. And the enemies were approaching. Not knowing what to do, I froze for a moment. Then I realized it and mercilessly kicked the foreman from behind. It helped. Startled by the pain, he slipped through the hole. Only the stone fell off the wall behind him. I quickly followed him, and we filled the hole with stones.

I apologized to the commander, and in return I received a promise that I would be presented with a reward. Yes, such stories happened during the war.

"THAT IS HOW MY FINGERS LOOK…"

Muhammad Ergashev, born in 1963. From Tashkent region, Uzbekistan.

On October 18, we, the several soldiers, were given the task of defusing the shells. We were sent to one of the warehouses that exploded from a lightning strike. The nearby villages are completely destroyed. A huge area around it was all covered in potholes. The trees had burned down, and only a few blackened trunks stuck out of the ground. Fortunately, not all the bullets exploded. Otherwise, the nearby town would also be severely damaged.

A month before this task, I began to saw dreams in which I saw myself exploding on a mine. I jumped out of bed in horror. The visions were repeated again and again. The heart is restless, and in the morning, breakfast does not lie in the throat. Every day I feel the approaching fateful event more and more clearly.

On that day, October 18, I saw that dream again. I was awake. The bed is wet from sweat, and the heart is ready to jump out of the chest. The newspaper announced a rise. Everyone was dressed, and I felt like I was being squeezed. After breakfast, I asked the officer:

– Allow me to stay today. Something is wrong with the heart.

But he did not let me stay:

It was the eleventh hour. Trains were supposed to go to the warehouses, so I cleaned up the entrance routes from the shells. My gaze fell on a red, cigarette-sized detonator from an anti-tank grenade. He had to be removed. I bowed and took him in my hands. Someone was screaming, "Drop it!" But I didn’t have time. There was an explosion…

Every time we enter this territory, we pray to God to save our lives. When we left her, we whispered, "Thank God, it’s over." This time, it did not work. It hurts in the eyes. The ears bet. I wandered and crossed the rail. I barely opened my eyes and looked at my hands. I saw naked white bones and hanging pieces of meat. The blood had not yet come out, and there was no pain I felt. My eyes stopped seeing. "It’s over", I thought. I began to grope my way to the ditch that ran along the road. Feeling that I was on the edge of the abyss, I jumped. I didn’t feel any pain, as if I had fallen into a soft posture. Comrades came to me. They crossed my hands. "Give me a grenade", – I begged them, "I’ll blow myself up".

We had one major, very evil, very rude. I hated him and wanted to call my dog by his name when I came home. There I heard his voice. I realized he was crying.

– You’ll still live, you’ll live well, son, – he said. I immediately forgot all his cruelty and forgave him.

I was picked up and taken out of the warehouse. They were placed on the armor of the "ambulances". Someone said, "Both exploded on the detonator". I did not lose consciousness for a moment.

On the way, the car failed, we were transferred to the boat. It was cold. I seemed to have lost a lot of blood because my whole body was chilling. It was driving a long time. The pain became unbearable, and it seemed as if the whole world was running out of pain. In such cases, it is probably better to lose consciousness or even die. Together you get rid of everything.

Life, youth, dreams – all this is important for a healthy person and for people like me, they lose their meaning. God let no one be in such a situation.

X-rays were taken at the hospital. I slept naked for two hours in a cold room. Let those days be cursed! I ask the nurse to give me an analgesic injection, and she answers, "You’re not the only one dying". It is hard when you are powerless and helpless. The only tool is language. "You are a man or an animal?" – Only you scream. – Rascals, you left me alone and went out".

With every movement of the scissors on the operating table, I feel unbearable pain. "Be careful" – I begged.

They did not answer. But that torture is over. When I was preparing for the operation, a woman’s voice said:

– The left eye should be removed.

The man’s voice replied:

– No, we will operate, maybe he will see.

My eyes were kept by colonel Grishin. I will be grateful to this person all my life. After the operation, I was taken to the room and given sleeping pills. When I woke up, I heard the nurse’s voice:

– Look at them, all the bandages in the blood, they will not cut off the human appearance. Then the man who kept my eyes read them:

– Your mother, can you say that? Out from here!

A week later I removed the bandage from my eyes and washed the cold blood off the face. One of the nurses said, "A whole centimeter of blood has frozen".

The same doctor operated my second eye in late November. During the operation, he talked to me without stopping, asking about it, told anecdotes. He was an extraordinary doctor.

But my troubles did not end there either. Three days later, a fragment was found in my throat, blood went, a pillow was poured out. My head started turning, I was sick. It seemed like I was falling from the bed. I called the nurse. She does not go. I shouted and woke up others. But they just bothered me for preventing them from sleeping. I remained silent for a few hours. I thought I was dying. I cried again. Then the nurse came, attached a towel to the wound and left again. I began to lose consciousness. It seemed like my head was immersed in a pond filled with blood, blood flowed into my ears, my eyes. From severe pain I got back to consciousness. Someone had a wound on my throat. I felt like I was very hungry. "Give me some bread", I asked. The doctor who sewed my throat said, "Put him a dropper". When I was put on the dropper, I fell asleep. I did not see the face of Dr. Grishin. In my imagination, he was like my father.