Maybe I was just remembering wrong, because the more dreams I had of Eros, the more they seemed real. Dream-Eros and Real-Eros were starting to blur.

“Come over later! You need to give Mycah and I all the gossip,” Kasey said.

“I’ll be over after work.” I smiled and hung up the phone.

Outside the window, the city was covered in a thin layer of snow that I would have to trudge through on my way to Dr. U’s office. But, honestly, I’d rather just be curled up next to Eros, watching the snow fall from the warmth of my apartment today.

I wrapped a scarf around my neck and opened the front door. But when I heard Javier and Eros arguing out in the hall, I shut it softly—still inside my apartment. For a moment, I debated whether or not to listen. I could almost hear Mom scolding me for eavesdropping on their conversation, but I was already going to Hell. So, I pressed my ear to the door, anyway.

“Your father says to bring her to our family dinner,” Javier said.

“No,” Eros said, voice stern. I had never heard him so irritated before.

“He says that you don’t have a choice if you want your banishment to be lifted.” Javier’s voice rose with each word.

“I don’t care what he says. I’m not getting her involved in this.”

“They know about her. She’s already involved, Eros.”

There was a loud bang against the hallway wall, and I jumped back. I hoped that Javier wasn’t getting physical with Eros.

“Did you tell them about her?” Eros shouted. My eyes widened. Oh, God, he was angry.

Another loud bang. “She can be your key back to the fucking family!” Javier said. I frowned at the door. What was going on? What kind of family were they from? And how was I the key back to it?

Eros paused. “No.”

Javier growled. “Why are you so stubborn? I fucked her boyfriend, so you could finally take her, but you refuse.”

“I never asked you to do that,” Eros said, distaste so clear in his voice. “You didn’t even do that for me. You did it to hurt her, you wrathful bastard.”

“But you’re glad I did, aren’t you?”

I waited for Eros to answer—my heart hammering against my chest—but was met with silence. After a long pause, he finally said, “Why do you want me back so bad? Mother and father don’t.”

His words sounded so empty, like this had been going on for quite some time now and he was numb to the pain. I grazed my fingers against Mom’s pendant. I couldn’t imagine what Eros was going through. His parents were still alive and well, yet he didn’t want to see them. My mom was dead, but I’d trek through Hell to see her one last time.

For the next week, I didn’t see Eros once—not even in my dreams. Maria mentioned that he came over a few times, but I was always conveniently not home. I hoped that he wasn’t ignoring me.

Maria had been busy with Zane, and Kasey was distracted by Aarav and Mycah. I tried to stay occupied by volunteering at the food pantry downtown during my lunch break and at the ice-skating rink after work—desperate to take my mind off of the loneliness that came during this time of the year. But, each night, I sat in my room alone wondering how I was going to get through the holidays with no one.

Since Dr. U was the only person who I saw consistently this past week, I had asked her to go with me to the Harmony Grove Nursing Home to deliver holiday joy to the residents—like Mom and I used to every winter. Trevon and I had planned to go together again this December but those plans obviously fell through.

When we arrived, a nurse led us to a recreation room where people in wheelchairs were watching TV. While the room was a bare white color, there seemed to be an almost divine aura in the air. Dr. U handed me a candy cane and nodded to an elderly man sitting near the window in a maroon recliner, grinning at me like Mom would.

As I approached the man, he smiled. “What an angel,” he said in a soft, fragile voice. He reached for my hand with his wrinkled one and squeezed.

I knelt by his side, placing a hand on his. “What’s your name?”

There was a twinkle in his eye. “All dressed in white and that halo on top of your head,” he said. My smile tightened, and I gazed down at my ugly Christmas sweater and black leggings. Definitely not dressed in white and definitely hadn’t been acting as an angel would lately. He cupped my face and tilted his head. “Beth! Beth!” he said.

A nurse appeared at our side.

He raised a shaky hand and pointed to me. “He sent me an angel!”

She placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered into my ear. “This is Mr. Bennett. He’s been hallucinating lately. Don’t worry about it.” Then she beamed at him. “Her name is Dani!” she said loud enough for him to hear. “She has come to wish you happy holidays!”

Mr. Bennett gave me a crooked grin and rested his head against the back of his recliner. “I can finally have a peaceful sleep.” He paused for a few moments, squeezed my hand tighter, and turned back to me. “Thank you.”

I nodded my head. “You’re welcome…”

He closed his eyes, hand slowly falling from mine.

“Mr. Bennett, why don’t we get you to your room?” Beth said.

He didn’t respond.

She nudged his arm gently. “Mr. Bennett?” When he didn’t respond again, her eyes widened. “Oh, my goodness.” She retrieved another nurse from the next room, and together they shuffled out all the other residents.

I just stood there, staring down at Mr. Bennet with wide eyes. Did—did he just die in front of me?

Dr. U placed a hand on my shoulder. “Dani?”

I nudged his arm, but he didn’t move.

Holy Hell.

He was really dead.

Beth ushered us out of the room, telling me that he was an elderly man and that I had nothing to worry about. It was bound to happen sooner or later.

Dr. U brought the car around front—deciding it would be best to leave early and come back next week. I scooted in and stared at the windshield with teary eyes. I didn’t know what to think. Everything was going from bad to worse. Trevon cheated on me. Eros was ignoring me. Now, someone just died right in front of me. What would happen next?

Everyone was leaving me.

When she pulled up to my apartment building, I still sat there. “Dani,” she said. “Are you okay?”

My lips trembled. “No, I—I…” A tear slid down my cheek. “My boyfriend cheated on me, my friend is ignoring me, a man just died in front of me, and Mom is dead.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “No, I am not okay.”

It was probably just the stress of the holidays or the pure shock that I was in, but it seemed like everything hit me at once. The pain of Trevon’s heartbreak. The distance Eros was suddenly keeping. And the hurt in my heart since Mom’s murder.

Dr. U was right. I should’ve talked about this with someone.

She curled an arm around me, pulled me closer to her, and just held me like Mom used to when I was younger. I remembered her fingers gently stroking my hair after story time each night. I’d beg her to tell me every tale she had about all of the monsters in this world. Four-year-old me was obsessed with them at the time. I’d sit in her lap and listen to the passion in her voice. I’d tuck my face into her side and let my tears soak her shirt, overwhelmed with a sense of sadness when she always ended with: “And there may be monsters who haunt your dreams or lie under your bed, but the scariest monsters are the ones that hide behind the faces of good people.”

And, right then, I didn’t know who in my life was one of the good monsters or the bad. Everything was getting harder and weirder and too confusing to understand anymore. I didn’t even know where I stood. Was I the heavenly angel like the old man had said or the hellish sinner that Eros had made me? Maybe I was both.

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