“Have I told you that Ron and I live above the bar?” she asked conversationally as she produced a key and unlocked the door.
“No. I don’t think so.” I fell silent again, wondering why she was taking me up to her apartment. Maybe to reprimand or fire me in private, without the risk of Gavin or Kayr wandering into the back office while she was doing it.
“It was a dump when we moved in, but Ron’s great at DIY. He fixed the place up beautifully.”
I followed her up the staircase to another locked door, my head throbbing with anger and tension as I waited for her to open it.
She stepped back after the door swung inward. “Come on in.”
I walked inside in silence, taking in the exposed brick walls and industrial-chic décor. The TV was on, showing a dropball game, and I realised Ron was drinking a beer on the couch when he peered back.
“Oh, hey, Beryl.”
“Hi.” I was strung too tight to say anymore.
“We’re going up to the roof, babe,” Mani told him as she opened the fridge in the tiny kitchen and pulled out two beer bottles.
“’Kay.” He looked at me again. “You alright, pipsqueak?”
“Difficult customer.” Mani answered for me as she clapped me on the shoulder and nodded at a staircase tucked into the corner of the open-plan room.
I followed her up it, feeling Ron’s concerned gaze on my back, and looked around in surprise when we emerged onto a rooftop terrace. A black metal table and chairs sat beneath trellising that was dripping with fairy lights, and plants of all shapes and sizes were crammed together along the entire length of the raised roof lip.
“Ron’s got a green thumb,” Mani told me with a chuckle as she pulled out one of the chairs and sat down. “I kill everything.”
I walked over to another chair and stiffly sat. “It’s lovely up here.”
“Thanks. He works hard on it.” She twisted off the beer caps and handed me a bottle. “So. Who was that?”
I tensed up again, running my thumb over the condensation on the dark glass. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re fine, Beryl. I just thought you might want to talk about it. Or at least take a break to cool off.” She chuckled. “You looked about ready to sock her in the mouth.”
I had been, even though Agma had seemed surprisingly contrite. She hadn’t sneered or been all that dismissive over hurting Greid, but I’d just been too angry.
“She’s Greid’s ex, but it wasn’t just… bitchy squabbling.” I wanted to make that clear. “She told her friends some personal stuff about Greid after they split up, and when I realised it was her, I just… I got really fucking mad.”
“I see.” Mani took a sip of her beer and waited for me to continue.
“It just made me really angry that she and her friends made him feel like shit for who he is,” I blurted, ripping at the label on my beer bottle. “Things he has no control over. Things he should never feel like shit for. It just… It feels like she couldn’t accept him for who he is, so she punished him for it. For not being who she wanted him to be.”
I was breathing hard, my eyes burning. I took a long gulp of beer, wrinkling my nose at the unfamiliar sour taste.
“He told her things, private things that were hard to share, and she made him feel ashamed for them.” I gripped my beer too tight. “It just… It was an awful thing to do.”
After a moment of silence, Mani cleared her throat. “Yeah. It sounds like it. But at least he has you fighting in his corner now.”
When I didn’t say anything, instead choosing to take another big gulp of beer, she leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table between us.
“Beryl, I hope you know that… well, that I accept you for who you are.”
I looked up at her in confusion. “What do you mean?”
She gave me a tiny smile. “I mean this seems like it’s about more than just what that woman did to Greid. I mean that… wherever you came from, whatever your past is, I don’t judge you for it. Whatsoever. I don’t care.”
My heart gave a sickly thud, hairline prickling as I stared at her.
She knows.
Licking my dry lips, I tried to think of something to say. Eventually, I heard myself croak, “You… You know about…”
“About The Order, yeah.” Mani sighed and sat back. “I’ve known from the beginning. Ever since you told me you used to work for Orderly Winemakers, the first time you came into the bar. I already knew who it was run by.”
I thought I might throw up. This was what I’d been dreading. This was what had worried me so much. My past catching up with me, infiltrating my new life, ruining things for me—
“I checked their website before I called Violet.” Mani shot me a rueful smile. “You’re in one of the photos on there.”
“What?” My vision whited out with horror. “No. No, no. I told Violet not to use any of the photos with me after they did that stupid photoshoot in the vineyard. She promised she hadn’t. She even showed me herself.”
“Hey, relax.” Mani stretched a hand across the table. “You’re only tiny, in the background. You must’ve both missed it. But I spotted your hair straight away. No one’s going to recognise you unless they’re looking for you, Beryl. You’re fine.”
“I have to tell her to take it down.” I was already fumbling for my phone in my apron pocket. What if someone else looked on there?
“Wait, Beryl. Let me finish first.”
Taking a breath, I forced myself to put my phone on the table and look at her, part of me dreading what I’d see in her eyes.
“When I called Violet, I asked her flat-out about The Order. I didn’t ask about you specifically—that felt like an invasion of privacy. But she… she said some things that made what she was trying to tell me clear without actually telling me. If you get me.”
“I don’t. What… what did she say?”
“She said she’d already been with The Order when you… came into her care. That she raised you. That you’d had an unfair start in life and made the best of what you could. That you’re trying your best to make a proper life for yourself now.”
My face burned. I felt too hot and flushed—stripped raw. Exposed.
“What I’m trying to say is…” Mani reached across the table and gripped my arm. “I’ve never judged you. Not for a second. And I wanted to help you get that new start in life, because you deserve it. That was why I offered you the trial shift, but that wasn’t why I hired you. I hired you because you’re a hard worker, and you’re friendly and fun to work with and just…” She shrugged. “A decent person.”
I couldn’t speak past the lump in my throat, not sure what I was supposed to be feeling.
“And I want you to know that Ron is the only person I’ve told.” She gave me a sheepish look. “Sorry. I tell him everything. He doesn’t judge you for it either. We both think you’re amazing, actually. I can’t imagine how tough it was taking that leap.”
“I…” My voice was hoarse, throat dry. “I don’t mind that Ron knows. And… thank you. It has been tough. I couldn’t… I couldn’t have done it without Greid, honestly.”
My voice cracked, making me duck my head in embarrassment. Mani just squeezed my arm.
“Well, it sounds like you give him just as much as he gave you. I have no idea how you two met—and I definitely would not say no to hearing that story someday—but he sounds like a great guy.”
“He is,” I said.
I loved him. I loved him so much, and I wanted to tell him. Right now.
As if she’d read my mind, Mani patted my arm before sitting back and picking up her beer. “Finish your drink and head home, buddy. I’ve sprung a lot on you. It’s quiet tonight. We’ll manage.”
“Are you sure?” I asked quickly, picking up my drink to guzzle it down. Usually I’d refuse, wanting to be the hardworking and conscientious employee, but I was desperate to get home as soon as possible.
“Yep. I’ll drag Ron away from the game if we get a sudden rush of yuppies.” Mani chuckled, tipping back her own beer. “You’ve got a shift tomorrow, right?”