– Sorry, it slipped my mind," Martin told me. – 'I've been here so often, I haven't been checked in a while. – Grue," he turned to his 'friend', "She's been an adult for a while now.

– I hear that two hundred times every day. Baby, how old are you?

– Twenty-five," I answered. – Honestly.

– 'Grue, I wouldn't lie to you, really,' Martin said insistently. – You know me!

– Well, all right, handsome, just for you. Come on in, baby. – Grue stepped aside, giving us passage inside.

– You're a miracle, Grue. – Martin gave her a peck on the cheek.

– There's no karaoke tonight. We've got a show," Grue shrugged him off.

– Oh, shit! I was looking forward to singing Jackson's "Bad"! Who's playing?

– Moonlight," Grue said, following us.

– They broke up a long time ago… Why didn't anyone even mention they were performing? Grue, I would have hanged myself if I hadn't been at that concert! – Martin exclaimed with fervour.

– Darling, it's your own fault! It's been a long time since you came and did not follow the poster! – laughed Grue.

– The first time I've heard of them, – I told my brother. – What kind of band?

But Martin didn't seem to hear me.

– They decided to give three concerts, and we are very lucky tonight. A ticket costs two hundred zlotys, – the woman told us.

– We'll pay. – Martin stopped abruptly and took out a purse from the pocket of his black jacket. – Here, for me and my sister. – And he tried to shove the notes into Gru's hands.

– Here's more! Keep it. Just go on in.

– No. I like their songs, and I don't want to rob them of an honest income!

Grue reluctantly took the money from him.

– What a noble man you are," I jokingly remarked as we continued on our way. – What are they playing?

– Rock. – Martin seemed to be seriously excited about the event. – How lucky! I never thought I'd see them play again!

– So you've been to their concerts, too? Did you get an autograph on your arse? – I was amused: Martin was a bit funny.

– No, but tonight I will! And we'll ask you to sign your chest! – My brother replied enthusiastically.

We came to a large, wide hall. Despite the fact that the hall was located underground, on the ground floor, its ceilings were high. That's fine. I hate low-ceilinged rooms-they're just too hard on the psyche.

– What a crowd today! – Martin remarked.

– It's like meeting the Pope! – I agreed.

How I loved to make fun of him!

But Martin didn't pay any attention to me, but worked his shoulders hard, forcing his way to the stage, saying: "Pardon me", "Sorry mate", "Sorry baby" and "Make way for the biggest fans!".

– You're a pro! – I complimented my brother.

Now we were standing by the stage itself.

The stage was small, but I thought it was pretty spacious if you kept the ballet off it. A microphone stand, electric guitar, bass, drum kit, synthesiser. The only thing missing was the people for whom all this noisy crowd of people had come.

– That's nothing! Here's what I can do! – Martin stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly and shrilly. I laughed. Oh, my brother! What talents he was hiding from me!

– Clap as loud as you can and shout like a madwoman! – he told me. – It pleases the performers!

– Shout what? – I asked obediently.

– Whatever you want!

– Give the money back? – I joked, starting to clap my hands loudly and often.

– If you shout that, I'll shut your mouth and push you out the door myself! – Martin replied with a happy smile, clapping like a madman.

The crowd seemed to be infected with his energy, and in a minute the noise in the hall was such that I thought my head would burst.

– Whoo-hoo! – I also shouted and laughed.

Wow: I'm in Gdansk. At a rock concert! With Martin!

It was probably the best idea of my life to come here! To try something I've never done before. I've never been to a concert and screamed my head off. But tonight I loved being like this – a fan. I liked the atmosphere, the energy of the crowd, I liked being free of my habits.

– Here they come! – There was a loud, hysterical female scream, and the noise got even higher.

Four men and one woman came on the stage. The men were dressed in dark t-shirts and jeans, looking nothing at all like classic rockers. The woman, as I guessed – the frontwoman, had an interestingly attractive appearance: expressive facial features, long straight black hair. Blue eye shadow and dark maroon lipstick. She was wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. That was it.

"And they're the ones Martin is so crazy about?" – I thought mockingly, but continued to clap like a monkey.

– Good evening!" said the frontwoman, approaching the microphone, and the crowd of fans immediately responded with a new wave of noise and applause. – We haven't performed together for a long time, but tonight is the first of our three concerts in our native Poland. And it all started when we met by chance at one of the rock festivals and decided to please our fans…

– Thank God! – There was a loud male shout, which made both the crowd and the musicians laugh.

– And tonight we hope you'll have a great night with us! Feel free to sing along! – said the frontwoman with a laugh. – Let's get started!

The crowd squealed with joy.

– Shit, I like it already! – I said to Martin.

– It's just the beginning, sis! – he said to me.

The noise was so loud that the frontwoman had to raise her hand to silence the fans. And when there was relative silence, she sang.

Yes, it was a momentary thought.

But it was a lie

I saw it, just me.

Then you were gone

And I'm left with this moment

And I drink wine like that lie.

I drink the wine and feel her

(free translation from Polish by Author)

Her beautiful melodic voice sounded lonely. Filled the room. Our hearts. The world. And suddenly there was a roar of guitars.

When you look at me

It's poison, it's just poison

Like the sin that

I'm so close to

For a moment that can't be born

A moment that can't be

nor should be.

In a single glance I see us

When we love

images and thoughts change.

The loneliness leaves me

And I'm so sure of myself

I think you're just a dream

cause this dream is so hot

But, God, I can see that it's

Just millions of pieces of myself

(free translation from Polish by Author)

– What's the name of this song? – I asked Martin.

– Taboo.

No. It can't be.

I was suddenly bitter at the realisation that this song was about me. Expressing what I've been feeling for so many years. It denounced me, knew my secret.

Now I wasn't happy at all. I was creepy.

I had to get away.

No! Run away!

Now.

I couldn't bear the truth any longer.

– Martin! – I grabbed my brother's elbow. He looked at me. – I'm leaving!

– Are you laughing? – he grinned. – The concert has just started!

– I'm not forcing you to come with me! I just don't like it here! I'll find a nightclub! – I said insistently, raising my voice as the song came to an end, the music stopped, and the room erupted in applause, shouts, and whistles.

– All right! I'll call you later!

I hastily kissed my brother on the cheek and with difficulty headed for the exit: people were standing so tightly together that I thought I would reach the exit without clothes.

– Baby, where are you going? – I suddenly heard Grue's voice. I had already reached the stairs.