"Okay, now show me your dirt."

"This morning, Debbie's hubby was arrested for trespassing on her property, stalking, and a gun permit violation."

"Right." Joe was puffing his cigarette, his eyes foggy. "Continue."

"That's it."

"That's it? You spent the whole day of fieldwork just to find out that Pitt Cooper was arrested on his ex-wife's property? I could find it out by just turning on my computer. Nincompoop. Now, listen to my dirt." He emitted a cloud of black smoke. "This morning Debbie had a divorce hearing. She has a Protection From Abuse Order against her ex, and there is no way he should be at her house. However, this is his first trespassing, and if convicted of a misdemeanor, he won't get this conviction on his criminal record. Which is good for him, considering the position he has in his computer company."

"Now, the judge let him off easy and gave him a three hundred dollar fine. You know, the guy is earning more than a hundred thousand dollars a year. He represents himself as if he doesn't have any money. He opens his mouth and says that he will appeal. The judge says, `Thank you for telling us that. Then, it's a five hundred dollar fine. Thank you very much.' But the most important thing is that his appeal is going straight on the docket for the next hearing. This way, the guy had got a criminal case against him. He brought it on himself! Next time he shows up at her house, it's a repeat offense and he gets convicted of a felony and goes to prison. He didn't understand it when he threatened an appeal to the judge. He wanted to piss off the judge as he did during the five years of custody battle, but this time he was pissing against the wind." My boss lit up the next cigarette.

"Do you realize you're a chain smoker?" I asked, showing that I cared about his health.

"Now, you're digging dirt on me, babe? Don't even start. I know more about you than you know about yourself."

"Good for you." I stopped for a moment, trying to recall stuff in my life that was worth hiding.

"Where was I?" my boss asked me.

"The guy was pissing…"

My boss's black eyes smiled.

"Right… Now, the police searched his car and found a gun. A real live gun."

"That's what I was talking about. He wants to kill her, to have the last word in their divorce. She is in danger."

"No kidding?" Joe leaned against his chair. "Well, what do we have to worry about? She didn't pay upfront. If he kills her, we just close the case. Done deal."

I left Joe's office with his promise to come for dinner. Back home, I found Iris sitting on the couch in the living room, watching TV. Evana was in the kitchen chopping vegetables for dinner.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, acting more from motherly duty than really caring.

Evana nodded.

"We're cooking dinner for everybody," Larissa put in her ten cents, in case I didn't notice.

Suddenly, Iris came stomping into the kitchen.

"No," she shouted, tears flying off her rosy cheeks. "Something bad happened. Something terrible happened, and nothing is okay."

"What happened?" I lowered myself onto a bar stool, just in case.

"She signed up for a cheerleading practice and didn't tell me." Iris pointed at Evana with a dramatic gesture. "I wanted to sign up too. I'm the one with a great fit and a good voice to cheer here."

That was only partially true. Since she was born, Iris has been gifted with a very loud, high-pitched voice. Sounds she was making demanding food could be used as a weapon of mass destruction if recorded.

"Evana, how did you sign up for the practice?" I asked my stepdaughter.

"Dad did it, I don't know how," Evana replied, looking very upset. "I'm sorry. I didn't know Iris wanted to do cheerleading also. It's something I wanted to do for the last couple of years, but Dad was busy, but this year he says I should start."

"Mom, do you hear that? A cheerleading practice! I get nothing in this family." My sweet angel ran out of the kitchen sobbing.

"Call my coach. Maybe she needs another student," offered generous Evana. I, myself, decided to talk to Iris about such family values as her stepfather's wealth, and her right to get a piece without tears and hysteria.

My talk helped, and we had a relatively relaxing dinner on the porch next to the grill, consuming a great amount of barbequed chicken and prime ribs. Our shepherd sat next to me, breathing hot and drooling on my leg. I gave him a piece of meat when Alex turned his back to me.

"No feeding the dog at the table," Alexander said, without looking.

"Maybe Rachel should take a nap," Larissa suddenly suggested to my husband. "She woke up in the middle of the night, went outside and was absent for about an hour. She might have insomnia. I worry about her."

Alexander looked at me with a newfound interest. Secret about my investigating job burned a hole in me, but the story of the toilet tanks held me back.

"Elvis woke me up," I lied, petting the dog's silky fur. "He had an upset stomach and needed a long walk."

"Elvis should be on a diet and eat only the vet-recommended food," Alexander said wearily. "And you keep feeding him human food at the table."

Yeah, right! What have dogs been eating for the last ten thousand years? Human food! They stuck around us because of pancakes and prime ribs. However, I didn't plan to argue with my husband tonight, but would simply get into my cozy bed and cuddle up with the new Janet Evanovich mystery novel.

Past midnight, I suddenly remembered to call Debbie to tell her about the polygraph test tomorrow. I grabbed the receiver, locked myself up in the bathroom, and turned on the water, so my hubby wouldn't hear me talking.

Debbie sounded surprised, at the least.

"A polygraph test? Do you mean a `lie detector'? Why do I have to take it? Gamma Woods claimed that the money and jewelry stolen from her when she was getting her stuff ready to move out of the office. Did you read my Irregular Incident Report?"

No, I didn't. Joe neglected to introduce me to it.

"Debbie, I know, it's terribly unfair, and it shouldn't have happened to you. But it happened. That's why we are working for you, to help you become whole again. Of course, it's unfair that you have to take this polygraph test, but this is a powerful tool to show people you're not a liar. By the way, the judge might order this Gamma Woods woman to take the test as well. Tomorrow morning at twelve, I will pick you up and take you there."

Disconnecting, I sighed with relief. The last thing would be for her to find out that I didn't know where the office of Planet Security was.

In deep thoughts, I opened the bathroom door and collided with Alex.

"Are you taking a shower with a phone?" he asked carefully.

"No, I was just checking my e-mails."

"It's a regular phone. It doesn't have a wireless network connection."

"That's why I couldn't check anything," I said coolly, and congratulated myself on a sharp comeback. In the kitchen, I warmed up milk and had it with honey: my best way to get asleep fast.

In the morning, I let myself stay in bed longer than usual, preparing for an important day. Larissa did all the morning routine for the girls and Alexander. In the morning, I let myself stay in bed a bit longer than usual, preparing for an important day. Larissa did all the morning routine for the girls and Alexander. Since I no longer had to wake up at the break of dawn to work and see the kids off to school, I stayed in bed as long as it was humanly possible.