Attention! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA, INTERNATIONAL LEGISLATION AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, MAKING CHANGES TO THE TEXT OF THE PLAY WHEN STAGED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR IS PROHIBITED. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF A DIRECT CONTRACT BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.

Comedy for 5 people (female roles)

A play in two acts.

(In an abbreviated version, it can be delivered as a one-act).

(18+)

ACTORS

Xana (Ksyu).

Bela (Squirrel).

Lisa (Lee).

Angelina (Gel).

Damira (Damka)

Street, nearby in the visibility zone is a roadside cafe.

The sad lyrical theme of love sounds.

The light turns on smoothly.

With a slow timid step, a tearful Bela comes out. Sobbing.

Mascara has flowed, lipstick is rubbed on the face.

The musical theme ends smoothly.

Bela (sobbing, through crying). Asshole… A parasite… Asshole!

Bela stops, unable to restrain herself any longer, begins to sob, covering her face with her hands.

A positive musical theme sounds.

Xana comes out. She's on an emotional high, looks fresh, attractive. Reads the correspondence in the smartphone, is touched.

The musical theme ends.

Xana (looking at her smartphone, touching, positively). Well, the bastard – I agree. A parasite? (He thinks about it.) In a way.

He reads on, smiling slyly.

Xana (looking at her smartphone, touching, positively). A goat? Beyond any doubt. Come on, come on, darling. Everything that hurt. Console yourself with these splashes… What else can you do…, poor fellow.

Xana smiles, puts her smartphone in her pocket and "bumps" into a sobbing Bela. Stops. He looks at her carefully. Pretty quickly begins to understand what's what.

Xana (looking intently at Bela). Sooooo!

Bela removes her palms from her face, briefly switches her gaze to Xana, and bursts into tears again, covering her face with her hands.

Xana (looking intently at Bela). And, well, everything is clear …

Xana on a heavy exhalation turns her gaze to the auditorium.

Bela tries to calm down, sobs. Wipes his face and nose with his hands. She's shaking all over with nerves and emotions.

Xana gives Bela some time to clean up.

Xana (looking intently at Bela again). So.... (With an affirmative question.) Yeah?

Bela (sobbing, through crying, nodding). Yeah…

Xana is busily looking around. Her gaze stops at a roadside cafe.

Xana (resolutely, Bele, reinforcing the remark with gestures). You're coming with me!

Xana goes and sits down at an empty table at a roadside cafe. A completely "broken" Bela is trailing behind her. He sits down next to me.

A waitress in a white blouse approaches, with a menu in her hands. This is Damira. He smiles affably.

Damira (to visitors, friendly). Hello, my name is Damira, I will be serving your table today. (Offering a menu.) Study the menu, or would you like to place an order right away?

Xana (resolutely, to the waitress). Immediately! So…

Xana expertly quickly opens the menu and pokes her finger at some section.

Xana (resolutely, to the waitress, showing her choice). Here are a couple of these cocktails, a salad like this. Two. And....

Bela begins to sob heavily again, again covers her face with her hands.

Xana turns her gaze to Bela. Then the waitress.

Xana (resolutely, to the waitress, putting away the menu). Lights out cocktails and salads. Bring us some delicious vodka, Damira, and have a natural snack. Tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce leaves… Well, I understand in general, yes?

Damira (writing down). Understood-understood.

The waitress leaves, Xana rests her chin on her hand, looks pityingly at Bela. Bela calms down.

Bela (hesitantly). Excuse me, I'm…

Xana (resolutely, interrupting). Let's go for "you". We have the same age plus or minus.

Bela (hesitantly). Good…

Xana (resolutely, but kindly). I'm Xana. You can Ksyu!

Bela (nodding affably). Bela.

Xana (cheerfully). Bela? An infrequent name. Can I call you Squirrel?

Bela (calmly). You can, that's usually everyone's name.

Damira promptly brings the order. He places a couple of stacks on the table, puts a misted bottle of vodka, a plate with slicing.

Xana (reading the waitress's badge). Yes-miii-ra, (to the waitress, matter-of-factly) listen, Damira, get yourself another "stoparik". Let's sit down together and talk. I'm buying!

Damira (affably, a little guiltily). Oh, thank you, but I'm at work, sorry. I'm not supposed to.

Xana (insistently, to the waitress, with a twinkle and a hitch). Where is it not supposed to be? Who is not supposed to? Where is it not supposed to go? Damira? What are you? We will rub about men! Davaaaaay!

Damira smiles, she herself would be happy, but she can't.

Damira (affably, in Xana's ear). Yes, I wouldn't really mind, but if my boss sees me here with you, I will be fired immediately, and without calculation.

Xana (insistently, to the waitress). Missis! Do you mind if I call you that?

Damira shakes her head uncertainly.

Xana (insistently, to the waitress). Let's be honest! Do you like this job? How much do you value her?

Damira looks uncertainly somewhere to the side, fearing that her boss will hear her.

Damira (in a friendly way, in Xana's ear). To be honest, not really. Another boss is an old bastard. I wanted to be a sales manager in general, but I couldn't find anything… here… while here.

Xana nods understandingly, immediately takes out her smartphone. Promptly dials the number. Calling someone.

Xana (busily, into the phone). Seryozhenka, hello, dear. Me, who else. How are you? Yes? Well, well done. Yes, I'm fine too. Listen, you were looking for a girl to sell. Did you find it? Don't look, I've already found it. Ooooooofig, you'll like it. Damir's name is. Did you check out the name? That's it. That's it, I'll give you your contacts, he'll dial today. Not today? When is it necessary? The day after tomorrow? Ok. Come on, kiss me. Both, of course. (He listens to the phone, smiles.) Okay, and there too. You know, I'm anything you want for you, yes… yes. Well, that's it. (Kisses the receiver.) Mua-mua!

Xana puts the phone away, turns to Damira, actively gestures.

Xana (calmly, to the waitress). I've decided everything. They're waiting for you. Call me the day after tomorrow. Give me the phone, I'll write the number. (Damira gives her phone number, Ksana writes down Sergey's number there.) The salary will not offend, the attitude will be amazing! Get a stack for yourself… and a chair. Let's drink!

Damira is in shock, she doesn't know what to do. Her inner turmoil is visible.

Xana (calmly, to the waitress). Ah, I get it.

Xana takes a stack of money out of her pocket, counts out how much, puts the amount on the table. Removes the rest of the money.

Xana (busily, to the waitress). Here you go. Compensation for the upcoming retention here on the s/p.

Xana takes the bottle, opens it, pours it. He looks at Damira.

Xana (encouraging the waitress). Come on-come on-come on!

Damira smiles, takes the money. "Breaks down" behind a chair and a stack.

He comes running, substitutes a chair, sits down. He puts down his stack. Xana immediately pours it for her. He pours a little for everyone.

Xana (commanding). So. Raised!