Some time later I will tell you what I was able to learn about Jesus Christ. But I will do so when it is time for it. When you deal with matter, not with information, you are making amazing discoveries. But you get still more excited when you find written evidence of our suppositions in historical documents. It makes me think that some practices at that time in that region – the territories of modern Egypt and Israel – were well developed and accessible to some mortals.
The story of Jesus Christ has always been fascinating to me, but I will come back to this issue another time. I have too much to say about it. At least due to the fact that his father, just like myself, was obsessed about immortality, and also to have had a baby by an earthly, not enlightened, human, a beautiful young virgin. Unlike myself, he knew what destiny was in store for his son, while I did not know anything. I could not even foresee what my baby would be, a boy or a girl. I just wanted to have a baby. I had no one to ask for advice, I did not know any cases of this kind, and everything was against me.
So, who was he, the young man of my choice? His name was Shi, which means a ‘noble man’. He was a descendant of the Southern Song dynasty, Nán Sòng, which at that time was controlling vast territories in the south-east of the central part of China; it is the territory of the modern Guangdong Province. It was there, high in Longhu Shan, Dragon Tiger Mountain, where one could find the most favourable conditions for the alchemical practices of the immortal. It was there, where I was living at that time – these picturesque mountains had been known for thousands of years as a retreat for famous anchorites.
The first time I saw HIM was when he was meditating at dawn on the sports ground in the garden of his house. He was perfection itself. A boy-warrior, whose posture spoke of his great future. He was sitting in the lotus position, his heart meridian closed, a tender, wondering smile on his face. Everything was as clear and transparent as water in a mountain stream – I understood at once that the time had come for him to become a man. His tender heart was doing its best to protect against the storm of youth’s wishes. But who was the one he was going to entrust his heart to, and who was he smiling at in such a sweet way? The petals of peach blossom were slowly drifting down, acquiring the tender pink tints of the rising sun. The entire Earth had sunk into the bottomless silence, and the anticipation of the upcoming endless spring day, that would be filled with passionate looks, the droning bumble-bees, the redolent Jessamine bushes, the thin transparent air, which was manifesting itself by gentle touches of the silky wind on his half-parted lips.
I softly joined in his morning meditation, trying to guess the secret of his heart. It was entertaining to me. But at a certain moment I felt that he started leading me towards his secret dream and I saw the image he was cherishing in his heart. Seeing his dream girl stung my heart, and I cut short the connection, which betrayed me.
An experienced warrior, he jumped on his feet like a tiger ready to repel any attack, but then froze still in astonishment, as he could not see anyone. Not trusting his eyes, he cut through the air with his razor sharp sward. As my presence had been detected, I had to withdraw, leaving him with the fragrance of ylang-ylang flowers.
Well, this is how I learned about his dream girl. It was a maid, a servant, Van by name. Nothing to worry about, but his heart was occupied. Of course, I did not think that he would take her up just to satisfy his desire. But is the young flame of passion always reasonable? I had to hurry up. Just two hours later I had a piece of good luck: the doll-like submissive mortal was sent to the market-place with all other servants.
The house was getting ready to receive guests. Everyone was busy, and Shi went to the back courtyard, where there was a little pond with red and gold fishes. When he was a child, he used to spend hours watching them. When someone would approach the pond, those tiny tremulous creatures would feel that and move towards him. And when someone would walk along the edge of the pond, they would follow him. When Shi was a child, he used to play with the fish. He would hide, crawl along the bank of the pond, trying to deceive them, but each time he would raise his head to look at the fish, he would unfailingly see the fish close to him.
Shi squatted down and pillowed his cheeks on his hands in a childlike manner watching the fish ‘rushing’ towards him from all over the pond. Today he felt ill at ease. He knew that there was a reason to invite so many guests. He anticipated something important, something that would probably affect his life.
The fish were playing, nearly tail-walking, showing their glittering red and golden sides. Shi was watching them in a detached way. Then one of the fishes headed to the opposite bank of the pond. It was followed by another, and then the third, and the fourth… They crossed the pond and started playing there as if someone were standing on the opposite side. Shi did not like that. He rushed to cross the little pond over bridge and … ran into Van.
Of course, it was not Van. I needed to do something to test him. It was a serious bewilderment for a warrior. He had spent years in training and meditation to learn to read the thoughts of others, to feel them at a distance, and… to run into … a girl? It was amusing to watch his feelings whirl: the wish to kill the cause of his shame, and the eagerness to touch, and his embarrassment in this unexpected situation. But it was not enough for me, and I added fuel to the fire. I covered my face with my hands and ‘rushed away’, catching – by accident, of course – my dress on a branch of a Jessamine bush, and tearing it in such a way, that it could not hide anything. On top of that, I tumbled over a little rock, and fell down on the grass near the pond, my energy dragging Shi to follow me.
Chapter Two
Kill with a borrowed knife
My objective seemed to be so close: his body lowered upon mine gently, enveloping me with his pleasant heaviness. I closed my eyes and was appealing to him in my thought to be more daring. He, however, drew two short breaths, jumped on his feet, and rushed to the house. I had nothing to do but quietly disappear, leaving behind a piece of silk impregnated with the thick odour of ylang-ylang, which, apparently, had betrayed me, having reminded Shi of the morning incident, when his anxiety caused by the invisible danger became entwined with the scent of ylang-ylang.
What was left for me to remember about this meeting of ours was the sweet memory of both the heaviness and lightness of his young body. This gave me wings, and I was inhaling the aroma of the spring mountain air with all my lungs, by impulses originating in the very heart of my being, in my Dantian.
It seemed to be the very first inhalation given by God to pristine man, the inhalation that made him a living being, the inhalation that gave him life, the soul. Air, inhalation, inspiration, spirit, breathing – all these words have the same root in my language. The Chinese language is remarkable, because if the original meaning of the word is forgotten and is interpreted by different people in different ways, there is always a hint in the form of the graphical representation of the word, the hieroglyph, which depicts the concept. Yes, nowadays lots of hieroglyphs are written in an abridged form and, thus, have lost their original magic sense, their visual formula, but still there is something left.
In my childhood, I used to enjoy myself meditating with my focus on hieroglyphs. I used to write them on large pieces of finest, almost transparent silk, usually of a white or golden yellow colour. Then I would hang them on the wall in my room, which I had painted pale purple, and gaze upon them like magic paintings. At that time, I sincerely believed that those were the structures of the universe – so harmonious they seemed to me.
