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Attention! All copyrights to the play are protected by the laws of Russia, international legislation, and belong to the author. Its publication and reissue, reproduction, public performance, translation into foreign languages, changes in the text of the play when staged without the written permission of the author are prohibited. Staging of the play is possible only after the conclusion of a direct contract between the author and the theater.

A dramatic Comedy in two acts by six actors. Duration 1 hour 30 minutes

ACTOR

SEMYON is a strong man about 50 years old;

LECH is a slight man about 40 years old;

VADIM A. KALINNIKOV – the owner of the house. About 40 years;

ALICE is the wife of Vadim. About 35 years old.

HERMAN is a daring lone thief. For about 40 years.

LYUBA is Semyon's ex-girlfriend. For about 40 years.

ACT ONE

1 AT THE FARMSTEAD OF THE HOUSE

Twilight.

On the stage, sneaking and looking around, Lech and Semyon come out, stop at the wings, looking cautiously into the auditorium and on the stage, where the apartment is arranged for the viewer. There's no one in sight.

LEH: Well what? All quiet like. The light is not lit. The contact said that the owners went for a week to relatives.

SIMON: and It is clear that light is not lit. Night after all. You'd better tell me what was going on here last night. The lights weren't supposed to be on tonight, not now!

LEH: Yes, I understand…

SEMYON (indignantly): what is It?

LECH: Not was me here on the evening… I don't know if the light was on or not. The situation is this, before I failed. He didn't arrive until a little after eleven. There were lights in some of the Windows of the neighboring houses, but not in this one.

SIMON (shouts): You're on the case came out, or at the kiosk for cigarettes? (he pulls himself up, begins to speak softly) What is the attitude to work? What do you mean – did not have time? Do you realize that everything depends on it?

LECH: I have a stomach seized, only from the house I leave – I run back. So I ran all evening. Only a little released – I immediately here. Yes and the, still in road couple of times sat down. Why are you so angry? Who doesn't?

SEMYON: where sat down?

LECH: One times in Park, the other????? for those garages. And now my stomach twists a little.

SIMON: It's the emotion. Jitters, it happens. You don't have much experience in this sort of thing."

LECH: I don't know, maybe…

SIMON: we'll Have it at your own risk. Don't they have a dog?"

LECH: No, no.

SIMON (suspicious): are you Sure?

LECH (uncertainly): Yeah.

SEMYON: I See. Here you go, stun gun just in case. I'll go with the ultrasonic repeller.

Lech quickly grabs the stun gun and holds it at the ready.

Semyon looks at the frightened armed accomplice.

SEMYON (with sarcasm): Means, speak, dogs there is no?

Lech smiles guiltily.

SEMYON: Okay, let's go.

They look around once again and enter the apartment, holding the means of defense at the ready.

2 IN A HOUSE

The first sneaks semen, for him sneaks Lech, stumbling not God knows what and falling a couple of times with a Bang.

SIMON (angrily): Can you give a drum or a pipe? Megaphone can still offer as an alternative!

LECH: and that, there is?

SIMON: here it comes!

LEH: understood, I'll try to be careful.

SIMON: Yeah you do that.

They look around the apartment, Lech grabs everything that comes to hand and drags to the exit.

SEMYON: Yes wait a minute you prevents junk passage block up. Let's look around, first of all choose what is more valuable.

Lech back lays out the, that managed grab.

SEMYON: Let flashlights.

Lech slaps his pockets and guiltily bites his lip.

SIMON: That's just not necessary for me now to say that you didn't take them.

LECH: you Understand…

SIMON: here it comes!

LECH: I took them! Truth. Only while squatting squatted on bushes and garages, it seems, dropped.

Simon looks at Lech willing to cause him great bodily harm.

LECH: It's okay, now the vision will get used to the darkness and flashlights will not be needed, we will see everything.

SEMYON: Yes that you…

LEH: the True cross

Lech makes hand gesture simulating used in the air.

SEMYON: Well, well. Okay, the lighter will have to illuminate. Come here, light up here!

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