“What’s wrong?” Skeeter asked her mother, uncertain.
Rita swiped a tissue over her eyes, reached out and hugged her daughter. “I’m crying because I’m happy.”
“But you’re okay?” Skeeter pressed, confused.
Rita hugged her again and gave a brisk nod. “I’m more than okay. I’m wonderful. I’m going to open my own bakery.”
Rita flashed Brooks a smile that thanked him for his caring, his friendship, his support and maybe more.
“This makes our celebration tonight doubly sweet.”
“It does.”
Rita sailed into his arms and hugged him, holding tight, feeling more right and natural than he had hoped and dreamed for years. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
Her smile said more than words ever could. “Everything.”
His heart burst wide open, embracing her, her family. Holding her, cherishing her—this was the future he’d wanted and needed without knowing it.
RUTH LOGAN HERNE
Born into poverty, Ruth puts great stock in one of her favorite Ben Franklinisms: “Having been poor is no shame. Being ashamed of it is.” With God-given appreciation for the amazing opportunities abounding in our land, Ruth finds simple gifts in the everyday blessings of smudge-faced small children, bright flowers, fresh baked goods, good friends, family, puppies and higher education. She believes a good woman should never fear dirt, snakes or spiders, all of which like to infest her aged farmhouse, necessitating a good pair of tongs for extracting the snakes, a flat-bottomed shoe for the spiders, and the dirt….
Simply put, she’s learned that some things aren’t worth fretting about! If you laugh in the face of dust and love to talk about God, men, romance, great shoes and wonderful food, feel free to contact Ruth through her Web site at www.ruthloganherne.com.
Made to Order Family
Ruth Logan Herne
www.millsandboon.co.uk
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.
—Ephesians 5:18
This book is dedicated to my beautiful girls, Sarah, Mandy, Beth, Lacey and Karen. I hope my love inspires your continued strength and faith as motherhood offers interesting challenges and grace.
Just remember that Cousin Ann in Understood Betsy is a GREAT role model. Seriously.
Acknowledgments
Special thanks to the local members of Alcoholics Anonymous whose ongoing struggles and strengths helped me create this story, and to the communities of Canton, Potsdam, Pierrepont and Malone for their graciousness. Special thanks to the good Sisters of St. Joseph, especially Sr. Mariel from Nazareth Academy, whose belief in me never wavered. Thanks to my dad who gave me a Wilton cake-decorating book when I was sixteen. Thus began a long career of creating beautiful cakes and pastries. His love of baking became mine. Special appreciation to Mark Bowden, author of Black Hawk Down, and Eric Haney, author of Inside Delta Force: The Story of America’s Elite Counterterrorist Unit, two wonderful depictions of life in Special Forces.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Epilogue
Letter to Reader
Questions for Discussion
Chapter One
Rita Slocum worked to envision every possible reason why she shouldn’t quit her job right now, pack it in and call it a day.
Three good reasons came to mind. Liv, Brett and Skeeter, her beautiful children, three amazing gifts from God that had already suffered from their parents’ host of bad choices.
Never again would she compromise their happiness.
Crossing the grocery-store parking lot, she inhaled a breath of brisk, clean, North Country spring air, gave herself a quick kick in the behind and brought to mind all she should be grateful for. Her kids. Her faith. Her home. Her sobriety.
She fingered the bronze one-year chip she kept tucked in a pants pocket, a valid reminder of three hundred and sixty-five days of good choices, of strengthening values, each day chasing the pervasive shadows of drunkenness further into oblivion.
Stronger now, she refused to be fooled. Once sober, she’d studied her problem and couldn’t excuse her share of the blame. It would be easy to slough things off on circumstance and depression, justify that first drink. Then the next and the next and so on.
But Rita recognized her primary responsibility in the whole mess. Sure, her life had tanked emotionally, morally and financially with her late husband’s crimes and suicide, but she’d had other choices.
She’d made the wrong ones then. She’d make the right ones now.
Despite the soap opera prevailing in her current job, her kids came first. Their strength. Their faith. Their well-being. No more messing them up.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Wonderful words, sweet and succinct. Perfect for an alcoholic’s soul.
And even though today was bad, a definitive two on a scale of one to ten, most days weren’t too awful, and she’d learned a great deal by working in a commercial bakery that supplied fresh bread, cakes, desserts and rolls to grocery-store shoppers.
It wasn’t her dream job. No, that option lay dust-riddled alongside her computer, fact sheets for a bakery of her own, a sweetshop that called to passersby from a delectable window showcasing mouthwatering treats.
Someday.
Rita refused to be cowed by the unlikelihood of that development. For the moment she was working a no-glory job, following orders, obeying company policy on weight, ratio, freshness and back stock of quick-selling items.
It paid the bills and that was reason enough to stay—creditors were ever-present baggage from her former life. Still, her business degree from SUNY Albany prompted her to do more than follow someone else’s orders, a quality she should have clung to during her marriage to Tom Slocum. Oops.
Settling behind the wheel, she pondered her angst. Not bad enough to grab Kim, her AA sponsor, but she wanted to talk with someone who’d listen and not condemn, commiserate but not feed into her funk. Recovering alcoholics couldn’t afford to bask in self-pity, ever.
Brooks.
The tall, broad-chested, sandy-haired woodcrafter with deep gray eyes would listen. He always did. And then he’d set her straight, a trait she could do without some days. The reality of that inspired a smile. Brooks’ honesty matched his integrity. Great qualities in a man.
Unless she was the target of said honesty, in which case he could take his calm, confident perceptions and bury them in his ever-present sawdust bucket.
Checking her watch, she steered the car toward Grasse Bend. Plenty of time to stop in before Skeeter’s bus dropped her off at home in Potsdam, and she had to drive through Grasse Bend anyway. Kind of.
