Reagan closed her eyes and shook her head. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m just exhausted.”
He cocked his head to one side, those dark brown eyes penetrating her to her very core, and she fought back the urge to run her hands through his thick chestnut curls.
“I think there is more. Sadness has come over you.”
“I was just thinking of leaving here. I was thinking...” She trailed off, getting choked up.
She didn’t want to tell him that she was sad she was leaving the people she considered friends, the people who were like her family, in order to return to a lonely life in Toronto.
It had never bothered her until now.
“I hate leaving a job undone. There is so much work here, but my tour is over.”
He sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. “Yes, there will be many pieces to pick up once the dust settles, but Isla Hermosa will rise again. There have been other wars, other strife that has hit our shores, and we have stood the test of time.”
Reagan smiled and they walked in silence back to the tent. There were no more critical patients. Just those with minor wounds that were being made ready for transport off the island.
“Captain Cote, you’re officially off duty,” said Major Smart as she came to the hospital tent. “You’ve done a wonderful job, but we’re getting ready to pull out. The next rotation is here and you need your rest.”
“When does my transport leave, Major?” Reagan asked.
“Zero one hundred. I suggest you get some rest—and that’s an order.”
Reagan saluted Major Smart and stood there for a few moments. She had been relieved of duty and at one in the morning she’d leave Isla Hermosa and head back to Petawawa, before being formally and honorably discharged from the Canadian Armed Forces.
“You hungry?” Kainan asked. “You look like you need food and rest.”
“I do—but don’t you have to move to the front with the Hermosian Army?”
Kainan shook his head, a strange expression crossing his face. “Not yet. I have time. Why do you think I came here to help with the wounded when our mobile medical unit is further up the line?”
Reagan smiled. “I’ve just got used to seeing you hanging around these last few months. Usually getting in my way.”
Kainan grinned that mischievous grin which always caused her pulse to race. If they weren’t here in the middle of a war... But they were, and Kainan was off-limits. She was leaving in a matter of hours and she wasn’t even sure that she’d ever see him again.
“You have a beautiful smile, Reagan.”
A blush crept up her cheeks. “What?”
“You never smile for me. You’re always so serious.”
“This is war. I don’t feel much like smiling.”
Kainan stopped and took her hand, those intense dark eyes focused on her. She wasn’t used to that. She wasn’t used to the attention.
“You look tired, Reagan. You need sleep and food.”
“I’m fine.”
“Come.”
It wasn’t a request, it was an order, and technically he outranked her. Kainan placed his hand on the small of her back and led her toward the mess tent.
She was so exhausted that she let him get food and a Thermos of coffee, but he didn’t let her sit down at a table. Instead he led her outside.
“Where are we going?” Reagan asked tiredly. “The beach is full of armed personnel.”
“We’re not going to the beach. We’re going to my tent. It’s in a shady spot and we won’t be in any danger.”
“There was mortar fire not that long ago,” she said, falling into step beside him.
Kainan sighed. “The rebels have surrendered and there’s a cease-fire. We should be at peace for a while.”
Kainan’s tent was on the edge of the Hermosian camp that bordered the Canadian forces’ camp. And it was in a shady spot, with camouflage netting. They took a seat down in the sand under the awning, and felt the breeze blow in off the Atlantic.
Reagan closed her eyes and let the cool air wash over her.
“Here, drink this.” Kainan passed her some coffee.
“I’m supposed to be resting.”
She took a drink of the dark, sweet Hermosian coffee. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been able to savor a cup of coffee. Usually she downed it quickly, burning her tongue in the process, as she tried to patch together the wounded soldiers and the unfortunate civilians who’d got in the line of fire.
“If you go to bed now you will be even more tired by the time your transport comes because you won’t sleep when you’re so stressed. Unwind and relax.”
“This is nice,” she admitted.
“I will miss you,” he said out of the blue, and he smiled sadly at her. “You have been a great friend and you’re an amazing surgeon. I’ve enjoyed working with you.”
Reagan was shocked, but pleased, and she squeezed his hand. “Ditto.”
“Really?” he asked, surprised.
“Of course.”
“You could’ve fooled me. You’re so closed-off around me sometimes.”
“Then why will you miss me?”
Kainan grinned. “Because you’re brave, compassionate...”
“You just called me closed-off,” she teased.
“Compassionate with your patients. You have a kind heart.”
She blushed again. “Thank you.”
“You’re also beautiful.”
He ran his thumb across her knuckles. His hands were rough from the dry heat and the tough conditions, but they were strong, surgical hands. And the simple touch was both calming and exciting at the same time.
“You’re the most beautiful soldier I have ever seen.”
His eyes twinkled and he smiled, causing a dimple to pucker in his cheek under his stubble.
Blood heated her cheeks at the compliment. No one ever paid her compliments. She wasn’t sure how to take it.
“Why do you need my approval all the time, Reagan? For goodness’ sakes, leave me alone. You don’t need validation for something that is so ordinary.”
Her mother’s harsh words rang in her ears.
She began to tremble, thinking about her mother and the lack of parental compassion she’d had growing up.
“You’re trembling.” Kainan pulled her close and whispered, “Why?”
“Tired. That’s all.” She was lying, but she didn’t want to think of her mother now.
Kainan held her. She buried her head in his chest, drinking in the scent of him, and the human connection she hadn’t realized she’d been craving calmed her.
“Where are you going after we pull out?” she asked, still clinging to him.
“To the front lines,” he said tersely. “Tonight.”
Her heart skipped a beat. The front lines were dangerous. Even if there was a cease-fire, the capital city of Helicia had become a tangled mess of debris, mines and IEDs. The thought of him getting hurt scared her.
“You’re shivering again,” he whispered as he rubbed her back.
“I’m just worried about you advancing tonight.” She looked up at him. “It’ll be dangerous.”
He grinned at her. “I will be okay. I will worry about you too, you know.”
“I’ll be on military transport, headed back to Canada.”
“Things happen—and Canada is a long way away. A whole ocean divides us.”
He reached out and stroked her cheek, wiping the tears from her face, and before she knew what was happening he was kissing her. Tenderly at first, and then possessively, but it felt so good and she kissed him back, gripping the collar of his tattered linen shirt as if his life and hers depended on it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered breathlessly against her mouth. “I don’t know what came over me. I’ve gotten so used to being around you, seeing you every day, just the thought of not seeing you...”
She should put an end to it, the kissing, but she just wanted to feel. She wanted to give in to the attraction she felt for him. The white-hot lust.
It would be once.
Just one time.
It had been so long since she’d been with someone, since she had any kind of intimacy.
“No apologies—and don’t stop.” She kissed him again, running her hands through his hair.