From the moment he sees his future wife across a smoke-filled college keg party, Michael Crider has a strong hunch that his single days are numbered. In between that moment of early understanding and his sweaty presence years later at the altar, however, Crider missteps, stalls, and resists like a true man's man. Remembering his evolution from swinging singleto linked for life, Crider chronicles the highs and lows of relationship progress: from the nauseating dating days of "No, I love you more!" to his own embarrassing version of "Meet the Parents"; from plotting his marriage proposal to the wedding and reception itself (a.k.a. "booze, the bride, and blue balls"). For men under pressure to propose or newly affianced, newlywed or veteran to the husband hustle, Michael Crider's flawed attempts at both grand romantic gestures and small attempts to control his fate will be all too familiar. Refreshingly honest and laugh-out-loud funny,The Slow and Inevitable Crawl Toward Happily Ever After should also appeal to the long-suffering women in their lives who, for better or worse, recognize their men in its pages.